Monday, December 17, 2012

Taqueria La Cumbre: The Power to Change Society!!!!

It's been awhile since I've reviewed, but I'm back baby!!!!! Been busy and surprisingly sane for the past few months which has made it difficult to blog!!!! But here I am!!!!! I'm not gone!!!! I'm here!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! OK, so there's something I've discovered that is simply glorious!!!!!! A few weeks ago, my allergies flared up and I started taking antihistamines!!!!! On the back of the box it stated that taking antihistamines may increase your appetite!!!!! Hhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I popped those little tablets into my mouth, and after a little bit of waiting, my stomach started to growl and my appetite became so significantly large, it would have made John Holmes jealous!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I don't even know what that last sentence means!!!!! Also, somebody told me recently that Paxil and other anti-depressant medication will increase ones cravings for carbohydrates!!!!!!! So what did I do?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? I made an appoitment with my doctor and told him I was feeling down and needed some Paxil!!!!!!!! Hey, with the cloudy weather and rain, it leaves me feeling blue, so my request to my doctor was completely and utterly legitimate!!!!! Completely and utterly!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! I've found that mixing antihistamines and anti-depressants makes you starving to death for like every single meal!!!!!! I can cram way more food down my throat with these magical little pills!!!!!! I love you Paxil and store brand anti-histimines!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! But, I digress!!!
So, I would like to continue to review the restaurants I visited while I was up in San Francisco!!!!!!! One of the places I really badly wanted to visit was a place in The Mission District called Taqueria La Cumbre!!!!! Why did I want to come here?!?!?!?!?!?! Well, the guy on Man vs. Food ate here and I've seen it on many food shows that visit the Bay Area!!!! When you visit a restaurant that you've seen on T.V. whether it be Rachel Ray, Anthony Bourdain, Guy Fieri, Samantha Brown, or Adam Richman, it's like seeing a celebrity in person at a movie premiere in West Los Angeles!!!!!! Anyway, everybody on T.V. who visited Taqueria La Cumbre would pretty much wet their pants in talking about how good the food was here!!!!! Now, I'm aware that there is a significant Latino community in San Francisco as well and many Mexican immigrants in the Bay Area, but c'mon, Southern California has the best Mexican Food outside of Mexico, right?!?!?!?!?! Right?!?!?!?!?!?! Needless to say, I decided I needed to visit Taqueria La Cumbre to see if the food here lived up to the hype!!!!!!!!!!
As I was walking down Valencia Street I came upon Taqueria La Cumbre and it was like seeing Bill Paxton in person on the set of Aliens!!!! "Why don't you just put her in charge?!?!?!?!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I've gotta say that when I walked in to Taqueria La Cumbre I was already slanted in my opinion of Bay Area Mexican Food as LA, Orange County and San Diego are all closer to the Mexican border which automatically means that the Mexican Food down here is better and more authentic!!!!!!!! It's an automatic, baby!!!!!!!!!! However, in doing some research, The Mission is home to its own style of burrito that started back in the 60's known as the Mission Style Burrito or the San Francisco Burrito!!!!!! Apparentley Mission Burritos are distinct in that their size is larger than regular burritos, the flour tortilla is a bit "stretchier" and rice and beans are put inside!!! Though many burritos put rice and beans inside, apparentely San Francisco Burrito's are the originators of this culinary method!!!!!! Also, one of the reasons why Taqueria La Cumbre gets so much air time on TV is that it is believed to be the initial purveyor and creator of the Mission Style Burrito!!!!! OK, so when I walked through the doors of Taqueria La Cumbre and up to the counter, I peered over their menu and ended up going with a Deluxe Burrito filled with carne asada!!!!! I would've gotten more food but I had just eaten that massive torta at That's It Market which is just a few blocks away!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! The kitchen at Taqueria La Cumbre is open so you can see them grilling their meat and the vegetables are in an assembly line so you can put whatever you want on your burrito or tacos!!!!!! I told them to put everything on my Deluxe Burrito!!!!!! Everything!!!!!!!! Need they even ask?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! So when I got my foil wrapped burrito, I took a seat in the corner, unwrapped my San Francisco style burrito, and g-dammit I went to town!!!!!!! Now remember, I was prejudiced against this burrito before I even took a bite!!!!! How can it be better than So. Cal. Mexican food?!?!?!?!?!?!?! How?!?!?!?!?!?! It can't be!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yet, when I sunk my teeth in to that spongy flour tortilla, and as their carne asada, black beans, rice, cheese and salsa passed through my incisors and molars and onto my palette, I became a convert to Mission Style burritos quicker than St. Paul became a convert to Christianity while walking on the road to Damascus!!!!!!!! I mean, good God this burrito was tasty!!!!!!!! I will say that the carne asada is what made this burrito so palatable!!!!!! Whatever marinade or spices or cut of meat they use for this burrito makes this deceased animal flesh some of the best tasting I have ever had in my life!!!!! I swear to Chr*st I'm not exagerrating!!!!!!! I'm not!!!!!!!!! This very well may have been the best burrito I have ever encountered in the entirety of my life!!!!!! And that's saying something because I was prejudiced walking in to this joint!!!!!!!!! Me loving this burrito the way I did the moment it passed through my lips would be like the equivalent of James Earl Ray becoming a civil rights activist the moment he heard the "I Have a Dream" speech!!!!!!!! That's the social change that this burrito can bring about!!!!!!!! Not even joking!!!!!! Not even joking!!!!!!!! Like I said before, I was already kind of full when I walked in to Taqueria La Cumbre, but with these flavors being what they were, I pushed through the pain and put every last bite of that tortilla filled goodness down my pie hole!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Also, the Deluxe Burrito came with tortilla chips, but they weren't that good. They were kind of dry and forgettable!!!!! But when in SF, Oakland, or even down in San Jose, you've gotta find a way to get up to the Mission and sample the burritos at Taqueria La Cumbre!!!!! My high school football coach used to look at each of us in the eye before our games  in the locker and proclaim to us, "find a way to win today!" Well, when it comes to this food, "find a way to eat it!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Do this place!!!!!! It has the power to change society!!!! San Francisco becoming a bastion of gay civil rights makes total and complete sense to me now!!!!!!! It was because of the San Francisco burritos at Taqueria La Cumbre!!!!! Harvey Milk was a good man, and I would venture to say the main motivator that pushed him over the top to lead the gay community were the burritos at Taqueria La Cumbre!!!!! The Mission is not that far from the Castro!!!!!! Harvey Milk's apartment is walking distance!!!!! I believe Harvey Milk ate here on more than one occasion!!!!! I have zero evidence to support this, but I believe it with all of my heart!!!!!!!!!! Eat at Taqueria La Cumbre!!!!!!!! Your life and the world we inhabit will be better for it!!!!!!!!

La Cumbre Taqueria on Urbanspoon