DG Burger: A Damn Good Burger, at Damn Good Burger!!!!

I first heard about DG Burger when I saw that it was the “talk of the town” in Orange County on Urbanspoon.com. And I am always on the hunt for a good burger to eat! Always!! But I’ve gotta admit that when I saw DG Burger was actually in the private dining room at Charlie Palmers in Bloomingdale’s at South Coast Plaza, I thought it might be a little too high society for me! I mean who the hell can afford to shop and eat at South Coast Plaza these days?!?! Oh wait, I know who... Those blonde haired blue eyed USC grads who live in Newport Beach and act like nobody else on the planet is relevant or exists except for them. Talk about an obnoxious, self-centered, cultish, group of people... Shesus!!! Hell, the Branch Davidians in Waco think USC people are annoying!! David Koresh wanted to be president of USC, but was ultimately rejected because he lacked the insane Marshall Applewhite glare in his eyes which USC requires of its people!!! You want an example of horrible people who in essence do nothing more in life than fill up space that otherwise useful people would occupy?!?!?! Look no further than the graduates of USC!!! Hell, USC is the only university in the country which I know of that offers the major, “Managing Daddy’s Inheritance.” God  what a sad commentary on humanity that USC is!! Hang your head in shame, losers!!! What a disgusting institution filled with spoiled, arrogant, myopic pigs who contribute nothing to the world!!!! Oh wait, George Lucas graduated from USC and he brilliantly thought up of Jar-Jar Binks. I stand corrected. Thank you for your offering to the world, Mr. Lucas. USC must be very proud of you. Oh and your screenplay and directing of Attack of the Clones was just brilliant. I mean the writing of the romance between Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen was just so convincing that I was in utter shock when Natalie and yourself got nominated for Razzies in the categories of worst actress, director, writer, and picture, but lost! But you did win the worst screenplay Razzie, so bravo USC and Mr. Lucas for your wonderful accomplishments and donations to the world!  But you’re worth many billions, so, whatev. I guess you’ll have the last laugh...

Anyway, I work for a living and do my best to give back and help my fellow man in whatever capacity possible, unlike those reprehensible USC idiots!!! Needless to say, I was out of my element walking around South Coast Plaza and sitting down in the private dining room at Charlie Palmers!! But it’s about the food, so I decided that on this day I would bring a certain focused intensity to my eating and not worry about the abhorrent USC grads I was rubbing shoulders with!!! OK, on to the food...

At DG Burger, you order your food at the counter from a guy who I guess is a fine-dining waiter from Charlie Palmers, and then take a seat in their upscale private dining room! They give you a number and bring you your food in paper containers and checkered wax paper!!! It’s an interesting combination here of high-end dining and a casual burger joint! They even had a flat screen in there with Sportscenter turned on so I could watch my football highlights while waiting for my food!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!! When my burger was brought to me it looked and smelled absolutely delicious! I ordered my DG Burger with cheddar and it came with lettuce, tomato, onions, and their special DG Sauce!!!! When I stacked all of the toppings together and lathered up the beef with a healthy dose of ketchup, I squeezed that burger together and inhaled it like I was Morton Downey Jr. sucking on a cigarette!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! It was juicy, flavorful, and I felt completely gratified as I chewed down that food and as my esophagus pulled it down into my barren, growling stomach!!! Now, my expectations were pretty damn high for this place, after all, their name is “Damn Good Burger.” I was expecting nothing short of a damn good burger, and you know what?!?!?!?! It was a damn good burger at Damn Good Burger!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Perhaps not in the same class as some of the elite burgers I have sampled over time, yet an incredibly worthy burger that lives up to its billing as being damn good!!!! Also, their fries are very nice!! There’s something in how they fry them that makes the potatoes very succulent and enjoyable to eat!!! I don’t know, maybe the flavor of the fries was just my imagination, but the fries stood out as being some of the finer spuds I've had the pleasure of devouring! 

After a long day of walking around South Coast Plaza and blowing your wad on over-priced clothes and accessories, DG Burger will go a long way in curing whatever guilt or buyers resmorse you may feel for the irresponsible spending habits you partook in for the day!!!! Hey, I guess that’s why all the USC grads are there, right?!?! They know that eventually daddy will see the credit card statement and those spoiled, useless, Trojans who frequent South Coast Plaza spending their time, money and resources on themselves and material possesions while thumbing their noses at a world in need, will have some explaining to do!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! It makes complete sense as to why all the USC degenerates crowd this place!!! When at South Coast Plaza, treat yourself to a DG Burger!!! Do it because this is a damned good burger, despite having to be around those .... "people" from USC!!!!!! Eat hard!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!