Antonucci's: Consider This a Gift on the Day of my Daughters Wedding!!!

I think the guy who works as the horse racing handicapper for the Los Angeles Times is a guy by the name of Jerry Antonucci!!!!! One day, back in the hay, I went to a handicapping seminar by the paddock at Santa Anita race track in Arcadia, and who was there offering up his handicapping advice as well as winners and exotics for that days card?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Jerry Antonucci!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Though I have absolutely no evidence to prove this, Jerry Antonucci was a guy who looked like he might have been missing fingers, if you know what I mean!!!!!!!!! Thick goggle specks, gold chain dangling against his long grey chest hair, the top two buttons of his shirt undone, tan Italian skin, an 18 inch stogie between his teeth, and streaks of grey streaming through his well groomed dark slicked back hair!!!!!!!! When he spoke into the mic at the small crowd that had gathered around him that weekend morning to learn from the master, I was expecting a salty Brando voice to blast through the speakers into our ears.... But that wasn't the case... He spoke like a normal guy!!!!! Jerry Antonucci was actually very gentlemanly in nature, showed well refined humor to his audience, and dispelled any stereotypes that might exist about a guy who's a professional horse racing handicapper with the last name of Antonucci!!!!!!!!!!
Every time I hear a very ethnic Italian last name like, Antonucci, the first thing that pops into my mind is homemade marinara sauce, meatballs, and strong red wine!!!!! Remember that scene in the Godfather when Luca Brasi teaches Michael Corleone how to make spaghetti and meatballs while drunk on too much red wine?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Love that scene!!!!!!!! Whenever I think of Italian culture, or the nation of Italy for that matter, I immediately think of an abundance of good hearty Italian food and powerful red wine!!!!!! Eating and drinking is such a huge part of who the Italians are and I love that about them!!!!!!! I hope I don't have an unfair stereotype of Italians!!!! If this is offensive to some who are of Italian heritage, I apologize!!! But hey, at least I don't think of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi or Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino when I think of Italy, right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
OK, so in all seriousness, one of the main reasons as to why I ate at Antonucci's Italian Restaurant in Mission Viejo was mainly due to the name!!!!!!! Not even joking!!!!!! I mean, just the name Antonucci's made me hungry and got me craving Italian food every single time I saw the name or heard it!!!!! Try it!!!!! Say "Antonucci" a few times and tell me you don't immediately start craving good Italian food and a jug of red wine to stuff down your pie hole to no end!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
So, I went to Antonucci's one evening and decided to order a pizza with pepperoni, garlic, and mushrooms as well as a meatball sandwich.... Oh yeah, and a s-load of red wine!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! My first impression of the food at Antonucci's was that it looked and smelled wonderful!!!!! That spicy garlic steaming up from the hot melted mozzarella cheese and spicy marinara sauce sitting on a warm baked crust made me want to marry Victoria Ghotti at that exact moment to become a  made guy with the Columbo's!!!!! No doubt the Columbo's have done and still do some very bad things, but man I'll bet those guys eat so so well every single night of the week!!!!!!!! I wouldn't give a damn about the street cred or the income I would get being a mobster, but to me the real benefit of being a made guy is the food and wine you would get to partake in each day!!!!! Make no mistake about that!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
OK, so the food at Antonucci's looked and smelled good, but when I bit into the pizza, it was by no means a top-20 pizza for me. The sauce was good, the cheese and toppings were fresh, but the crust just didn't work for me. The crust struck me as something that was mindfully prepared, but it was overly chewy and somewhat hard. Again, the crust wasn't cheaply done and it wasn't totally dried up like some places, but it was harder to chew than I would've liked. Not a bad pizza, but certainly not the best I've ever had. After the pizza I went for the meatball sandwich. The sandwich wasn't bad, but there wasn't anything real memorable about it. It was just kind of a generic meatball sandwich in which there was nothing special. Also, the meatballs were a bit dry. It wasn't horrible, there just wasn't much to it in my opinion. Anytime I come down a little negative on a place I want it to be clear that you should still go to the place and try it yourself!!! So, got to Antonucci's!!! In fact I would like to try some of their pasta dishes and I likely will return to do that!!!!! Also, they have a nice lounge area to have a cocktail and watch a game!!!! It's a neat little neighborhood Italian place!!!!! Try it out!!!! Not the worst I've ever had but not the best either. It was OK. I'm glad I tried Antonucci's and the food did satisfy my hunger and Italian food cravings!!!!!!!! Give this place a shot and decide for yourself!!!! Do it!!!!!!!!!!

Albertaco's: Not the Best I've Ever Had, But Not Bad.

So, I have been to Albertaco’s on three different occasions, and to be perfectly blunt and honest, have failed to understand the hype surrounding this establishment!!! I’ve noticed on urbanspoon that it’s ranked as the number 5 “cheap eats” place in all of Orange County. Plus, one of my co-workers who went to Saddleback College, which Albertaco’s is right across the street from, swears by this place! I mean she goes ga ga every single time the topic of Mexican Food is brought up in a coversation around the office!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Albertaco’s has been on my radar for quite some time and I was excited to try it, and quite honestly really really really really wanted to like this place!!! We're talking desperately wanting to like!!!!! I mean as I sat eating my Albertaco's Mexican Food, I was looking for excuses or anyhing I could latch on to about this fare that would cause my emotions to inflame so I could write an over the top review of this Mission Viejo eatery!!! I tried, Albertaco! I swear to you that I tried!!!!! I dug down deep into the portals of my heart and soul and failed to muster up any kind of passionate depiction or feeling over my experience eating at Albertaco's!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Look, I try to keep it positive around here and I like to have fun with my reviews! But if I want to be taken seriously as a food blogger, then I have to dish out a little bit of negativity when it comes across my palette. I don’t like being negative and I would never ever tell somebody to not eat someplace unless the food and or service is exceptionally poor (or if your name is Gilley’s in Las Vegas).  So let’s just establish that right off the bat!! In no way does this review of Albertaco’s mean you should not eat here! Try the food for yourself! You may have a much better experience than I did!! Also, let me just say that the food at Albertaco’s is not bad at all. It’s not low quality or poor in any way!!! The owners and employees at Albertacos work very hard and take noticeable pride in their food!!! And for that, I say to Albertaco, Muchos Gracias por todo!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

So the other day as I was driving down to San Diego, I stopped here for lunch to give Albertaco’s one last shot!! I ordered a Carne Asada Burrito, 3 fish tacos, and a chicken quesadilla!!!! I ate every last bite of my food, so it couldn’t have been that bad, right?!?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! First off let me say that the carne asada burrito was fine. The carne asada had good flavor, and the fillings of rice, beans, guacamole and salsa complimented everything nicely!!! I was off to a good start!!!! I then moved on to my fish tacos!!! The downfall with these fish tacos was the white sauce. It was overly-mayonaisey and sweet, which just didn’t work for me!!! But, I ate all three of them, so again, it couldn’t have been too bad!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I then capped off my Mexican feast with their chicken quesadilla!!! There wasn’t anything fantastic about the chicken quesadilla unfortunately. The flavors were kind of bland and the combination of everything together didn’t do much for me!!! The quesadilla was huge though and I had to push through some pain to squeeze that mother down in to my gut!!! But I did it!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

If you’re deciding whether or not to eat at Albertaco’s, I would say, go! Heck if there was a night sometime in the future where I was really lusting for some Mexican food, I could see myself returning!!! Go to Albertaco’s! They are worthy of your business! They will not give you bad food by any means!! It’s just that I’ve had Mexican food that in my opinion is much better! Not sure why they are the 5^th ranked cheap eats place in all of OC! But hey, they’re doing something right!!! 

Berkeley Dog: Simply Marvelous!!!!

Hot Dogs and Sausages have always had a special place in my heart!!! Especially when I suck down that encased pork in a tube and it gets lodged in my chest cavity from eating too much too quickly. then it quite literally has a special place in my heart!!!! I mean, I can gulp down sausages and frankfurters like I'm washing down an ice cold glass of water in the middle of the desert on a hot summer's day!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Let's just say that I have capitalized on numerous occasions while at Dodger Stadium sitting in the All You Can Eat Pavillion and going back every single inning for Dodger Dogs and Nachos with all the fixings!!!! I do it right, baby!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahaha!!! I want it to be known that in my opinion, when Frank McCourt made the business savvy decision to give fans the option to sit in the Right Field Pavilion and stuff down as many Dodger Dogs as humanly possible, it was a moment that rivals the Kirk Gibson Game 1 home run in 1988, the signing of Manny Ramirez, a Sandy Koufax no-hitter, and Fernandomania in the early 80's!!!! Though Mr. McCourt's reign as Dodger owner is mired in scandal and controversy, he made the most important and significant decision in Los Angeles Dodger's history.... He let us eat as many Dodger Dogs as we want as long as we were willing to pay a little extra for seats in right field!!!!!! You Mr. McCourt, are a genius!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! OK, my point is that I love hot dogs and sausage and I have done some major damage to the swine industry in this country!!!!! I am proud of the work I have done in the name of keeping the pig farms in business in the midst of a struggling economy!!!!! I have probably single handedly paid the mortgage of at least a handful of those working in the pork industry!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
OK OK, Berkeley Dog!!! If you follow my blog, you may remember that not too long ago, I was in the Bay Area and upon my entrance into Marin County, my first stop wasn't the Golden Gate Bridge, the Trans America Building, Alcatraz, or Fisherman's Wharf!!!! No no no no no no no!!!!! My first stop.... Top Dog on Durant in Berkeley!!!!! Home to world famous hot dogs and sausages!!!! I pounded hot dogs and sausages like a star that day and often times will go back and read my review of Top Dog to relive that special and brilliant eating moment in my life!!!!!! Now, when I heard that there was a place in the Orange County area called Berkeley Dog, the first thing that popped into my head was, Top Dog in Berkeley!!!!! Oh my God!!!!! Could this be happening?!?!?!?!?!?! I mean, is this for real or is it a dream?!?!?!?!?! A Top Dog like restaurant within driving distance to where I live?!?!?!?!?! I just had to go!!!!! I couldn't wait a single moment more than was necessary to absolutely ravage the pork products residing at Berkeley Dog in Mission Viejo!!!!!!!
Berkeley Dog was about a thirty minute drive for me to get to, and you know what?!?!?! It was well worth it!!!! I got there a few minutes before 11:30am, which is when they opened, and I sat outside the front doors of Berkeley Dog like a puppy dog waiting in the alleyway for scraps from the days leftovers!!! But right when 11:30am hit, I swung open those doors, walked up to the counter, and ordered my sausages with authority!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Actually, before I ordered, I asked the guy taking orders about the connection between Top Dog and Berkeley Dog. His response.... "There's no connection at all. We are completely independent of one another. They let us use their artwork, and they are the inspiration behind this place, but we are not connected in any way." I've gotta say, that was a bit disheartening to hear!!! But I was so worked up to guzzle down sausages, I didn't let that hinder me in any way and proceeded to order a Frankfurter, Bockwurst, German Frankfurter, and two orders of fries!!!!!
When my sausage links were finished, I noticed that similarly to Top Dog, Berkeley Dog serves their sausages on a baguette type of bun!!! But oh that pork!! It was so shiny and greasy and beautiful smelling, that I walked over to the condiment bar and proceeded to put onions, relish, mustard, jalepenos, and and and and and yes... Ketchup!!!! I don't give a crap what some people say!!! Ketchup is a g-damn must for any type of sausage!!!! This whole notion that you can't have ketchup on your sausage is a gross injustice that I find deeply offensive and am utterly appalled by!!! Gotta have ketchup on your hot dog!!! You've got to!!!! It's just not the same without it!!!! You can call me a commie bastard all you want but I will douse that tubed pork with a healthy portion of ketchup and enjoy every single last bite that I have with my sausage!!!! That's how I roll!!!!!
So after my sausages were good and loaded up with all the condiments, I went after those dogs like Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino goes after some slutty, intoxicated lassie in a nightclub at 2am!! I mean I went for it and put a whoopin' on those links that Chris Brown would've been proud of!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Now now, I know there is nothing funny about abusive relationships!!
These sausages were so succulent, juicy and flavorful that after my firtst bite I just had to stop, cross myself, and thank God in heaven for the gift of pork, Muslims, and Jews!!! Of course neither Muslims nor Jews eat pork, so it means more for you and me!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! With each bite I took, mustard, onions, relish, ketchup, and jalepenos would spread across my face and would fall into the palms of my hands!!!! I had to lick my hands and the surrounding parts of my face that could be reached with my tongue after every bite I took!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! And as that greasy sausage and freshly baked baguette sat in my stomach, all of the worries, all of the pain, all of the uncertanty about the future and the outcome of my rotting marriage, simply left me!! Some people would turn to booze or drugs as an escape... Not me!!! I'll take Berkeley Dog any day of the week to numb the pain of life, thank you very much!! (I hope my wife doesn't read this! If she does... I love you baby!). This is high quality sausage and is worth every single cent you spend on them!!! Not far off from Top Dog in Berkeley at all!!! Not at all!!!
Berkeley Dog is beautiful! The sausages are beautifully prepared, taste stupendous, and they take me back to times of sitting in the stands at Dodger Stadium or in the parking lot of the Colisseum or Rose Bowl tailgating before a game!!! There's just nothing like it!!! It's simply marvelous!!!! If you live in Mission Viejo, then you're a lucky son of a b*tch and I envy you!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I'm just kidding! I'm a lover not a fighter!!! But, you owe it to yourself to do this place!!! Do it now and do it hard!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Big O To Go: Old School!!

This place is straight out of 1976!! Actually, according to the owner, that's when Big-O To Go opened shop and began providing some of the finest quality pizza around!! This place is old school and it's awesome! They don't give you the pizza in a pizza box, but rather they wrap it in foil for you!! There's no fancy looking menu, but the menu you look at to place your order is the one they first had in 1976! This place is retro, has changed very little (if at all), and it's incredible! Oh, let us not forget that this pizza............ is amazing!!!!!!!!! Fresh quality ingredients make this pizza difficult to put down! In fact, I didn't put it down. If you must know, I ate an entire large 1/2 pepperoni mushroom, 1/2 sausage jalapeno by myself and I absolutely destroyed it!!!!! Absolutely!!!!!!!!!! And and and and... I ate a meatball sandwich on top of it! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Dude, their meatball sandwiches are fantastic and delicious in every square inch of bread, cheese, sauce, and meat they are served with!!!! I will absolutely go back to this place and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound and pound until there is no room left!!!! Ahhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahaha!!!! A side note: It's right next to Royal Doughnuts... Do I even have to say it?!?!?!?! Do I even need to mention it?!?!?!?! Do I?!?! Well, I will!!!! After you pick up your pizza, you go to Royal and get 1/2 dozen doughnuts for dessert!!! And you know what?!?!?! That's what I did!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! Big-O pizza with Royal doughnuts for dessert is one of the greatest eating combinations you can experience in all of Orange County!!! Maybe in the country!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Do this place and don't cheat yourself!! Do it now!!!!!


                                                 

Chronic Tacos: No Place Better for Tacos!!!!

The Tecate Beer Battered Fish Tacos done Baja Style are so pleasurable to eat that I felt as though I was sinning against God Almighty with each bite I took!! Had 4 fish tacos, 2 carnitas tacos, 2 chicken tacos and 2 carne asada tacos and it was easily a top 50 all time eating experience for me!! There is no place better on the planet for tacos than Chronic! Go to Chronic! Eat hard or don't eat at all!!! Ahahahahahaha!!!!!