So, I still have like four more Bay Area restaurant reviews to do, but sometimes it's hard to muster up the emotional energy and blog about good food I have eaten!!!!!! Just to give you a little bit of insight into my unstable mind, I can't simply sit down whenever I want and crank out a review!!!!! I have to be in the zone!!! I need to feel irrational and be filled with passion and ridiculousness to write in the style that encapsulates who I am and best represents all that entails Eat Like a Champion!!!!!! Hence, that's why a few weeks may go by in between reviews!!!! Believe it or not I have moments of sanity and when looking at my reviews I actually get a little embarassed and can't believe I actually write some of the crap I do!!!! But, I feel like blogging today and am a little punchy!!! So here it comes baby!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
OK, I'm continuing to write about my eating adventures from when I went to San Francisco a few weeks back!!!! Before I hopped on the plane to fly up to Oakland and take the BART over to Powell St., I went on to YouTube and watched the episode of No Reservations with Anthony Bourdaine where he went to San Francisco!!!!! In watching Bourdain tool around SF, some of the places he went were definetely off the beaten path and looked like places I would love to visit while up there!!!! When the SF episode had originally aired a few years back, I remember watching and taking notes of food dwellings I would visit the next time I was up that way!!! One of the places that I noted and had wanted to visit for quite some time was a liquor store in The Mission District called That's It Market!!!!! Yes, a liquor store!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Every now and then I'll drive by a liquor store and see that there's a deli inside or that they bake pizza's onsite, but there's something very unsanitary and grimy about eating food prepared inside of a liquor store in my opinion!!! I don't ever buy groceries at a liquor store, nor do even buy booze there!!!! Liquor Store's are very unkempt and filthy in my experience and the thought of consuming any product that is sold from one of these alcohol distributing establishments instantly makes me want to gag and dry heave!!!!!! Seriously!!!!! I think it has something to do with the clientele liquor stores tend to cater to!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! But being that some SF food writer took Bourdain to That's It Market for his show, I figured I could bite the bullet due to the fact that this place might be an exception and put out some pretty dignified caloric goodness!!!!!
What was it that brought Anthony Bourdain to That's It Market in The Mission?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Something called the Cubana, which according to That's It Market is the largest torta in the world!!!!!!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! When I saw Bourdain on TV sitting at the counter, stuffing a Cubano into his face while sucking back a tallboy of Tecate, I knew that this was an experience that I had to live out for myself!!!!!!!!! Before I went down to The Mission District, I asked a bell hop at the hotel I was staying in if The Mission was a safe enough part of town!! He responded by telling me, "It's not that safe. If I were you, I would go down there with somebody. I wouldn't go alone." Hmmmmmmmmm this was going to be tricky!!!! I needed a Cubana and I couldn't talk anybody I was with to go down there with me!!!!!! If I had to risk getting jumped or mugged for all of my cash in the The Mission, then so be it!!!!! I don't care!!!!!! The Cubano was a sandwich I would walk through a g-damn war zone for just to be able to cross it off of my bucket list!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! When I hopped on the BART and made it down to The Mission and emerged from the underground tunnel, I didn't look to me like The Mission was a bad neighborhood at all!!!! Never at one point did I feel the least bit unsafe there!!! It's like Broadway in downtown LA, but a little nicer!!!! That bell-hop didn't know what he was talking about!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
Anyway, when I came to That's It Market and walked inside, it was a typical trashy liquor store that I usually avoid with the bums loitering outside the front door, expired food sitting on the shelves, and a wide array of porn mags on display behind the counter!!!!! However, when I walked over to the grill on the right, the woman who was working it and cooking the beautiful looking sandwiches for the The Mission locals was incredibly friendly and welcoming!!!!!!!! I looked over their menu for a moment, but I knew what I came for and what I wanted!!!!! The largest torta in the world, please: The Cubano!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! When I ordered my Cubana, the nice lady simply nodded her head!!! I then took a step back and just watched the magic happen on the grill!!!!! Beef, sausage, ham, pork leg, chorizo, hot dog, eggs, cheese, mayo, jalapeno, tomato, avacado, on a massive bun of bread!!!!!!!! I walked over to one of the coolers and grabbed my Tecate to have the exact same experience as Bourdain, but they told me I couldn't drink in the store. Bummer!! That's fine!
When my Cubana was finished and served to me on a plate, it was abslotely colossal!!! Like, one of the biggest sandwiches I have ever seen!!!!! And it was filled with such marvelous looking greasy fatty Mexican food beauty!!!!!!!!! I remember just before Bourdain took his first bite into his Cubana, he stated, "I'm going to hate myself later for this!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahhahaha!!!! When I picked up my Cubana and looked at the cross section of it and saw all of the different high caloried greasy protein resting against the bread, I said the exact same thing as Bourdain, "I'm gonna hate myself later on!" Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! And though I may have hated myself later on, which I wll spare you the details of, I didn't hate myself at the moment that first bite of Cubana entered into my mouth and passed through my teeth!!!!!! In fact, I was loving myself and thrilled to death that I had made the decision to come to The Mission and eat lunch in a dirty sketchy looking liquor store!!!!!! This torta was staggeringly good!!!!!!!! All of the different pork and beef products combined with the mayo and avocado and bread made for one of the most unforgettable and lustrous eating experiences in my entire existence!!!!!! Holy God!!!!!!! Though in San Francisco there are countless eating options, the Cubana at That's It Market in The Mission is a place that is worth planning an entire vacation to San Francisco around!!!! Forget Alcatraz, forget Chinatown, forget Fisherman's Wharf, the Presidio, the Golden Gate or going across the Bay!!!!!! The complete focus of your vacation when you go to San Francisco should be That's it Market in The Mission!!!!! This torta will send you into a different reality and has the potential for your entire paradigm to completely shift!!!!! Why would that happen after eating this sandwich?!?!?!?!?! I don't know!!!!!!! But it's so good tasting, a whole new life experience and reality will be opened up to you like never before!!!! More than LSD, weed, or ecstasy could ever dream of doing!!!!!!!! Swear to God!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
When in SF, you absolutely have to eat the Cubana at That's It Market in The Mission!!!! You owe it to yourself and to the dignity of your family name to do so!!!!!!!!!! Sure, later on in the day you'll regret eating it, but in the long run, The Cubana will change your life for the better!!!! Thank you Anthony Bourdain for bringing this torta to our attention!!!! You have done more for humanity than any Nobel Peace Prize winner could ever do!!!!!!! Totally serious!!!!!!!!! Do this place and do it hard!!!!!!!!!!! Cubana!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
I like Subway!! I like Quizno's!!! Jersey Mike's is overrated!! Schlotsky's is good but there aren't many of them around!!!! Togo's is OK!!! But I have eaten just about every sandwich on each of their menu's and I gotta be honest, when lunchtime has been coming around lately, it's been tougher and tougher for me to get excited and passionate to hit up the go-to fast-food sandwich places and stuff my face to no end!!! Though the aforementioned fast food sandwich places are good, I'm just getting burnt out on them!!! No disrespect to you guys!!!! Mad love!!!!!! But lately I've been feeling as though I've needed a change!!! So, when I was driving down Chapman Ave. the other day and saw that there is now a Which Wich in Orange County, my heart started to pound uncontrollably and I had to do a double take as though I had just seen a maimed martian body lying in the desert sand outside of Roswell, New Mexico!!!! What is this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? A new fast food sandwich place for me to master and decimate on a daily basis?!?!?!?!?!?! In the words of a liquored up Hank Williams, Jr. on Fox News, "Ohhwwwwwwwwww Yeaaaaaahhhh!!!!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I had heard of the legend of Which Wich before but knew they were primarily operating in the South and Midwest!!!! But now they're apparently expanding their operations to California and I've got one of them in my backyard!!!!!! I am elated by this and more excited about having Which Wich around then when I watch the US women's Olympic water polo team!!!! And that excitement I feel for our women's team doesn't have anything to do with national pride if you know what I mean!!!! Look, I'm not trying to be racy or inappropriate, but watching those women swim around in those tight one piece Speedo swimsuits along with those broad muscular swimmers shoulders they all have, is hotter than Hell!!!!! I've never watched water polo in my life, but whenever our women's national team, or any of the women's Olympic teams for that matter, comes on to my TV to compete, I feel like Fred Willard sitting in a movie theater in Hollywood!!!! Hey, wha happened?!?!?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! I love you Fred!!!! No disrespect to the female Olympians!!!! You all make your respected countries proud!!!!
OK, so when I pulled up to Which Wich, walked through the doors, and began looking over their menu, everything seemed so new and fresh!!!!! Which Wich has a very unique system for placing orders!!!! They have sandwich bags and sharpies sitting just below their menu, and on the sandwich bag is their menu along with all of the different toppings, sauces, cheeses and bread options available!!!! You simply fill out your order on the bag with the sharpie and then hand it to the nice woman at the counter and then, BOOM!!!!! A few minutes later your sandwich comes out to you just as you ordered it!!!!!!
Being that I was overwhelmed and wanted to experience the living hell out of Which Wich, I decided to get two sandwiches!!!!!!!! I decided on a Buffalo Chicken Sandwich and a Wicked Sandwich which comes with turkey, ham, roast beef, bacon, and pepperoni along with three different types of cheese!!!! This sucker was massive!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
The first sandwich I tackled was the Buffalo Chicken!!!! This was a fantastic tasting sandwich!!!! The chicken along with the buffalo sauce combined with the freshness of the bread, cheese and veggies in fact made this a superior sandwich!!!! The buffalo sauce and mayo would squirt out the back of my bread with each bite I took and I constantly had to keep all of the toppings in check!!!! Such a good sandwich!!!!! But the Buffalo Chicken wasn't enough for me!!!!!! I was still hungry and wanted more!!!!!! More I say!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Next I went for the Wicked!!!! Like I said, this is a massive ass sandwich!!!!!! Lots of meat, lots of cheese!!!! Again, this was a truly spectacular food concoction between two pieces of bread!!!!!! Outstanding flavors and quality fresh toppings!!!!!! After I drove that last bite of Wicked down my throat, my hunger was quenched and I began to experience an inner peace and contentment in my soul that nothing else in this world can bring!!! I truly believe that the human experience is incomplete if you fail to consume sandwhiches at Which Wich!!!! Which Wich is exactly what the doctor ordered for me regarding my apathetic sandwich attitude lately!!!! Just to reiterate, the places that I have been going to aren't bad, it's just that I needed something different!!!! And Which Wich completely and utterly delivered that for me!!!!! Oh, and their chocolate milkshakes!!!! Good God that thing was tasty!!!!!! Perhaps the finest fast-food shake I have ever had!!!!! And believe me I am aware of how many fast-food places such as Jack in the Box, Chick-Fil-A, Del Taco, Carls Jr., and In-N-Out use real ice-cream and have revamped the quality of their shakes!!!!! But the shakes at Which Wich are stellar!!!!! Maybe the best I've ever had!!!!! Not even joking!!!! Not even joking!!!!!!
Hey Which Wich, in the words of Dido, I just want to thank you!!! I want to thank you for coming to Southern California and bringing your sandwich and milkshake goodness to this fair state of ours!!!! Your food is nothing short of magnificent and there is absolutely room for you to be here and compete with the other sandwich shops in town!!!!!!! I'm not going to lie either... I'm pulling for you Which Wich!!!!!! I am pulling for you!!!!!! I want you to win and drive some of these places out of town!!!! They've been here forever and on behalf of sandwich conniseurs in Orange County... We welcome you and wish you nothing but success and prosperity!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! If you drive by a Which Wich, then you owe it to yourself to grab one of their sharpies and order one or two or three of their sando's for lunch!!!!!!!!!!! Do it!!!!! You won't regret it!!!!!! Eat at this place and eat hard!!!! Live your life!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Right now there are high school students all over the country making decisions about what college/university they will matriculate at in the Fall! Surely they are considering things such as, campus life, whether or not their major is offered, location, and proximity to home, just to name a few!!! But, one of the huge mistakes thousands of college students are making this very day, at this very moment, is that they are not taking into consideration what kind of an eating city their university is in!!!! Well, if you're planning on attending Chapman University to further your education this Fall, let me just say, you have chosen ..... WISELY!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Why have Chapman University students chosen wisely you ask?!?!?!?! One word and word only.... BRUXIE!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! It's not about the campus, it's not about the student life, it's not about the law or film school or the academics. But what it is about is a place just across the street from the university!!! What it is about, is Bruxie baby!!!! I will say this, the food at Bruxie will bring real life healing to your soul!! Have you been emotionally scarred?!?!?!?! Are you battling depression or anxiety?!?!?!?! Are you dealing with a broken heart from a divorce, break up, or your children never calling you?!?!?!?! Well if you are, then I'm sorry. But to get on the path to healing you need to forget therapy, you need to forget medications, you need to forget doctors!!! You want to get well?!?!?! You want to be healed?!?!?!??!?! Go to Bruxie and devour their waffle sandwiches til it hurts!!! And once you do that, in an ironic twist, you will hurt no more!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!! The flavors of these waffle sandwiches possess the powers of healing!!!!
Bruxie is absolutely genius!!!! Using waffles as their sandwich bread is an idea comparable to the inventions of indoor plumbing, the water heater, and refrigeration!!!! I mean, It's genius and it makes life better!!!!! I had the Bruxie Burger, the Buttermilk Fried Chicken & Waffle, and the Liege Waffle!!! Don't ever, and I mean ever, talk about the greatest burger in OC and fail to mention the Bruxie Burger!!!!!! For if you do you are degrading the world of culinary arts!!! The Bruxie Burger is unbelievably tasty and satisfying!!!!! However, it was the Buttermilk Fried Chicken & Waffle that brought healing to my soul like a lobotomy brings healing to a paranoid schizophrenic!! The slaw, the 100% maple syrup poured over it, and the fried chicken with those waffles.... good God!!!!!! I mean the Buttermilk Fried Chicken & Waffle at Bruxie may be the best sandwich in OC!!! What an experience!!!! The sweetness of the syrup mixed with the saltiness and spicyness of the chicken was an absolutely unforgettable eating moment for me!!!
Chapman students, rejoice!!!! You have chosen wisely!! This place would be my in between class spot and I would eat here every single day of the week if I was a Chapman student!!!!! Every day!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! I will be back!!!!!
Just hammered... HAMMERED Harry's Deli in Irvine!! I had the pulled pork sandwich, rib-eye steak sandwich, pastrami sandwich and meatball sandwich!! I think I ordered from Harry himself and he probably thought I was taking a bunch of food back to my co-workers.... But it was all for me!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Dude, this place absolutely lives up to the hype! There is something refreshing about its location in a business park in Irvine. Not commercial, not flashy, just good food made for hard working people on their lunch breaks! The meatball sandwich was soooooo good!! I never had anything like it, ever.... EVER!!! Son of a bitch!!! Those meatballs were so g-dam good I might get back in my car and go back right now!!! I might do it!! I'll be thinking about Harry's all week! I'm seriously considering quitting my job and finding someplace to work over near Sky Park so I can have Harry's every day for lunch!! I'm not kidding!! That's what this food will do to you!!! Prepare to embark on a journey of addiction to Harry's Deli if you try this food!! Not sure if that's a bad thing!!! An intervention will be coming my way I'm sure as i will be frequenting Harry's and stuffing my face with their meatballs until I tip the scales at 3 bills!! I'll have no regrets either!! Ahhhhhh hahahahahaha!!!!
