Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Which Wich: Life is Incomplete Without It!!!!!

I like Subway!! I like Quizno's!!! Jersey Mike's is overrated!! Schlotsky's is good but there aren't many of them around!!!! Togo's is OK!!! But I have eaten just about every sandwich on each of their menu's and I gotta be honest, when lunchtime has been coming around lately, it's been tougher and tougher for me to get excited and passionate to hit up the go-to fast-food sandwich places and stuff my face to no end!!! Though the aforementioned fast food sandwich places are good, I'm just getting burnt out on them!!! No disrespect to you guys!!!! Mad love!!!!!! But lately I've been feeling as though I've needed a change!!! So, when I was driving down Chapman Ave. the other day and saw that there is now a Which Wich in Orange County, my heart started to pound uncontrollably and I had to do a double take as though I had just seen a maimed martian body lying in the desert sand outside of Roswell, New Mexico!!!! What is this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? A new fast food sandwich place for me to master and decimate on a daily basis?!?!?!?!?!?! In the words of a liquored up Hank Williams, Jr. on Fox News, "Ohhwwwwwwwwww Yeaaaaaahhhh!!!!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I had heard of the legend of Which Wich before but knew they were primarily operating in the South and Midwest!!!! But now they're apparently expanding their operations to California and I've got one of them in my backyard!!!!!! I am elated by this and more excited about having Which Wich around then when I watch the US women's Olympic water polo team!!!! And that excitement I feel for our women's team doesn't have anything to do with national pride if you know what I mean!!!! Look, I'm not trying to be racy or inappropriate, but watching those women swim around in those tight one piece Speedo swimsuits along with those broad muscular swimmers shoulders they all have, is hotter than Hell!!!!! I've never watched water polo in my life, but whenever our women's national team, or any of the women's Olympic teams for that matter, comes on to my TV to compete, I feel like Fred Willard sitting in a movie theater in Hollywood!!!! Hey, wha happened?!?!?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! I love you Fred!!!! No disrespect to the female Olympians!!!! You all make your respected countries proud!!!!
OK, so when I pulled up to Which Wich, walked through the doors, and began looking over their menu, everything seemed so new and fresh!!!!! Which Wich has a very unique system for placing orders!!!! They have sandwich bags and sharpies sitting just below their menu, and on the sandwich bag is their menu along with all of the different toppings, sauces, cheeses and bread options available!!!! You simply fill out your order on the bag with the sharpie and then hand it to the nice woman at the counter and then, BOOM!!!!! A few minutes later your sandwich comes out to you just as you ordered it!!!!!!
Being that I was overwhelmed and wanted to experience the living hell out of Which Wich, I decided to get two sandwiches!!!!!!!! I decided on a Buffalo Chicken Sandwich and a Wicked Sandwich which comes with turkey, ham, roast beef, bacon, and pepperoni along with three different types of cheese!!!! This sucker was massive!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
The first sandwich I tackled was the Buffalo Chicken!!!! This was a fantastic tasting sandwich!!!! The chicken along with the buffalo sauce combined with the freshness of the bread, cheese and veggies in fact made this a superior sandwich!!!! The buffalo sauce and mayo would squirt out the back of my bread with each bite I took and I constantly had to keep all of the toppings in check!!!! Such a good sandwich!!!!! But the Buffalo Chicken wasn't enough for me!!!!!! I was still hungry and wanted more!!!!!! More I say!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Next I went for the Wicked!!!! Like I said, this is a massive ass sandwich!!!!!! Lots of meat, lots of cheese!!!! Again, this was a truly spectacular food concoction between two pieces of bread!!!!!! Outstanding flavors and quality fresh toppings!!!!!! After I drove that last bite of Wicked down my throat, my hunger was quenched and I began to experience an inner peace and contentment in my soul that nothing else in this world can bring!!! I truly believe that the human experience is incomplete if you fail to consume sandwhiches at Which Wich!!!! Which Wich is exactly what the doctor ordered for me regarding my apathetic sandwich attitude lately!!!! Just to reiterate, the places that I have been going to aren't bad, it's just that I needed something different!!!! And Which Wich completely and utterly delivered that for me!!!!! Oh, and their chocolate milkshakes!!!! Good God that thing was tasty!!!!!! Perhaps the finest fast-food shake I have ever had!!!!! And believe me I am aware of how many fast-food places such as Jack in the Box, Chick-Fil-A, Del Taco, Carls Jr., and In-N-Out use real ice-cream and have revamped the quality of their shakes!!!!! But the shakes at Which Wich are stellar!!!!! Maybe the best I've ever had!!!!! Not even joking!!!! Not even joking!!!!!!
Hey Which Wich, in the words of Dido, I just want to thank you!!! I want to thank you for coming to Southern California and bringing your sandwich and milkshake goodness to this fair state of ours!!!! Your food is nothing short of magnificent and there is absolutely room for you to be here and compete with the other sandwich shops in town!!!!!!! I'm not going to lie either... I'm pulling for you Which Wich!!!!!! I am pulling for you!!!!!! I want you to win and drive some of these places out of town!!!! They've been here forever and on behalf of sandwich conniseurs in Orange County... We welcome you and wish you nothing but success and prosperity!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! If you drive by a Which Wich, then you owe it to yourself to grab one of their sharpies and order one or two or three of their sando's for lunch!!!!!!!!!!! Do it!!!!! You won't regret it!!!!!! Eat at this place and eat hard!!!! Live your life!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

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