Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Far East Cafe: Biiiiiiiiiig Trouble.... In Little China!!!!!

I've never been a huge fan of Chinese food!!!! I mean, it's OK but I've never really liked it all that much!!! Hell, I'll eat the stuff, but I will never voluntarily seek out Chinese food when I'm starving and looking to load my gut up with savory food to release those damned endorphins like nobody's business!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! I don't know, there's just something about the spices and sauces of Chinese food that I just don't care for that much!!!! And I'm going to tell you something, I don't really want to review Far East Cafe!!!!! I don't want to review any Chinese food restaurant to be perfectly honest with you!!!!!! But, I ate here when I was in San Francisco's Chinatown and for some reason feel obligated to review this place!!!!!! In full disclosure, there are a lot of Orange County restaurants that have brought about ridiculous thoughts and unbridled passion in me that I cannot wait to post on this blog!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! But I haven't allowed myself to do it because I told myself that I would write a review of Far East Cafe in San Francisco, wrapping up my Bay Area eating adventure, before I did anything else!!!!! So here we are!!!!!! Just looking to get this out of the way, but at the same time I want to write something good!!!!!
First off, quite possibly one of the greatest movies in the history of documented society is a movie called, Big Trouble in Little China!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! But I'm kinda serious!!!!!! Remeber that movie with Kurt Russell and some other obscure actors from the 80's that nobody remembers?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! OK, this is maybe my favorite line from BTILC, "This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I'm talkin' to whoever's listenin' out there." And you know what?!?!?!?!?!?! I identify with Jack Burton, driver of the Pork Chop Express!!!! Being that I don't like Chinese food and feel obligated for some reason to review Far East Cafe, I'm talkin' to whoever's listenin' out there!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Anyway, as I was in San Francisco, walking around to see the sites and take in the city, I came upon Chinatown and thought to myself, "This is where Wah Ching rolled in the 60's and did some damage!!!! And after harrassing tourists and stealing their wallets, they had to have been hungry and, hey, maybe they went to Far East Cafe to grab some cuisine from their homeland!!!!!!!!! Maybe Wah Ching did!!!!!! Who's to say they didn't?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Who?!?!?!?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! A number of stolen credit cards had to have been used at this eating establishment over the years!!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
OK, so as we were walking around Chinatown, we came across Far East Cafe and somebody we were with said they've been eating here for years!!!!! And I'm going to be honest with you, eating Chinese food in Chinatown was kind of appealing!!! I mean, you aren't gonna get no Mandarin Chicken from Panda Express in Chinatown, but rather you're going to get the real deal eating in Chinatown!!!!!! Maybe the closest to real Chinese food outside of China!!!!!! Oh, and you know what I just remembered right at this moment?!?!?!?!?!?! Bruce Lee lived in San Francisco!!!!!!!!!! Maybe he ate at Far East Cafe!!!!!!!!! Hell, maybe the rice from Far East Cafe fueled Bruce Lee during the filming of Enter the Dragon!!!!!!!! Although I think it was filmed in Hong Kong!!!!! But I can dream, right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!I loved Enter the Dragon!!!!!!!! I loved that movie!!!!!!! "Fear, not anger!!!!!!" Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
OK, so on to the food at Far East Cafe!!! Like I said, I don't know much about Chinese food!!!! I don't even know what a lot of the stuff we ordered was called, but it was good!!!! I have no complaints about this food!!!! If you like Chinese and you're tooling around Chinatown in San Francisco, walking in the footsteps of Wah Ching, why not come to Far East Cafe and eat some Chinese food?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Why not?!?!?!?!?!?! From what I could gather, the food here is good and would rival anyplace in all of Chinatown!!!! Take a look at the pictures below and judge for yourself!!!!! In the immortal words of Jack Burton, "Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president." I don't even know what that means or how it's relevant to this review, but I love that movie!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! OK, I'm done!!!!!!!!! 

Far East Cafe on Urbanspoon

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