Thursday, February 14, 2013

Fat Slice Pizza: Unparalleled Fodder!!!!!

You know, I truly and utterly believe that I have found the meaning of life!!!! I believe I have!!!!! At least I've found what it is for me!!!!! And it doesn't have anything to do with what cooky fundamentalist Christians, earthy mystics who dance around a fire pit at 1am gazing at stars, or what mentally exhausted nihilists have to say about what the principles are which will guide one into alignment with the highest existential experience of bipedal homo-sapiens!!!!!!!! What is the meaning of life you might ask?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Well, if you've read past blog posts of mine then you actually might know what the meaning of life is, according to me!!!!! Not the Ancient Greeks, Stoics, Epicureans, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Animists, nor smelly Berkeley girls who haven't shaved their armpits, used deodorant, or changed their clothes for weeks know what the meaning of life is!!!!!!! They have no idea!!!!!! And what is the answer to this hotly debated and deeply thought out question since the dawn of man you might ask?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I say it's this: Eating a lot of really good tasting food, then getting drunk off of either craft beer, wine, or powerful cocktails!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I laugh, but you know what?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I believe that statement!!!!!! And in this postmodern world we live in today, who's to say I'm wrong?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Then again, who am I to say that anybody else is wrong?!?!?!?!?! It's all relative, right?!?!?!?! Right?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! But you know what, look at the header of my blog!!! The verse from the book of Ecclesiastes pretty much is in agreement to what my answer is to the meaning of life!!!!! Eat good food and drink good drink!!!!! Hey, maybe the Christians and Jews do have the answer to the meaning of life!!!! And I guess the Epicureans were on to something too!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! I mean, there's just something about how when good food touches my lips and engages with the taste buds that just causes the priorities of my life to completely change!!!!!! Instead of wanting to connect with people and do a good turn daily, I'd rather just seek out the next intoxicating bite of cuisine that will cause me to go halfway insane, as well as carve out a good portion of my day to drink fine tasting booze with whatever that fine fodder is that swirls through my mouth!!!!!!!! Gotta leave some time to recover from my hangover, you know?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! And that's why I'll never ever get married or have children!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!! Overeating and getting drunk is just too damned important when it comes to living a joyful and fulfilling life!!!!! Hey, and if you have kids and get married, you can no longer stuff your face with salty food and over imbibe on alcohol with the regularity or frequency that deep down every single human soul years for!!!!!! If you have kids and a wife you've got to share your time and money with them, and it's not cool watching your parents get hammered on the couch or at the dinner table every night!!! Believe me, I know!!!!! I wouldn't want to subject anybody to that!!!!! But, I really do feel like I have discovered the joy of this life and it's so simple, yet so beautiful!!!!!! One more time, what is the meaning of life?!?!?! It's good food and alcohol!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
OK, so over the summer I was watching women's water polo during the Olympics and I became a big admirer of female water polo players!!!! Those broad shoulders, tight Speedo swimsuits, and the physicality of those girls splashing around in the pool was so completely hot!!!!!! With that, I sent a tweet to one of the players on the USA women's water polo team for fun, and you know what?!?!?! She responded to me!!!!! After that I went to her Wikipedia page and saw that she went to school at UC Berkeley!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Don't worry, I'm not an creeper!!!!!! But being that I was going to be in Berkeley, or at least near it, I sent her a tweet a few weeks later asking her for food recommendations near the campus in Berkeley!!!!! And she responded to me again!!!!!! How cool is that!?!?!?!?! She told me that Fat Slice Pizza on Telegraph was a go to when in Berkeley!!!!! Hey, other than Top Dog and Zachary's, I don't really know anything about the food scene in Berkeley!!!!!!! So getting a recommendation, especially from a bona fide US Olympic gold medalist, who happens to be pretty damned cute and went to school at Berkeley, was something I absolutely needed to follow up with!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! So I hopped on to the BART, got off on University in downtown Berkeley and walked up to Fat Slice to do some damage!!!!!!! It was like 11am when I walked through the doors and they were just pulling some freshly baked pies out of the ovens!!!!! Holy God!!! The smell of that freshly baked dough, fresh cheese, sauce, and spicy pepperoni just as it was coming out of the oven, smelled better than a bottle of Febreeze probably did to those people who've been stuck cruising on the Triumph for the past week!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! When I walked up to the counter, I wanted the full gamut of this mass of salty Italian pastry!!!!!!! With that, I think that maybe I've become a bit more refined when it comes to my pizza tasting!!!!! I've learned that a good pizza is in the sauce, crust, and cheese!!!! Whereas the toppings are important, it's all about the sauce, crust, and cheese!!!!!!! So, I just went with straight up cheese and straight up pepperoni, 2 slices each!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! When they gave me my slices I found a seat in the back room and there were a couple of homeless dudes grinding down slices of Fat Slice too!!!! Hey, if you're using the dope or booze money you panhandled for for hours to spend on this pie, you know it's special, right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! 
When I picked up my first slice of pizza, it was so light and fluffy, yet it had a good denseness to it!!!! When the tip of that triangular shaped Italian plunder entered my mouth, the combination of that grease, cheese, sauce and bread was some of the most unparalleled tasting fodder I have ever experienced!!!!! Their cheese was so milky and gooey I swear to God I think they may have had a cow farm out back and the milk in their cheese came straight from the cow's udder like 10 minutes earlier!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Oh my God this pizza was heavenly and I absolutely fell in love with it!!!!!! Also, I started to develop feelings for the water polo player I had been tweeting, even though we've never met!!!!!! For her to recommend such a wonderful tasting pizza slice, speaks volumes to the beauty of her soul!!!!!!!! But she's an Olympic gold medalist!!!!! She would never go out with me, would she?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Now I'm sad!!!!!! But wait, relationships aren't the meaning of life, it's food and beer!!!!! I can just stuff my face and get drunk and the thought of being in a relationship will leave me immediately!!!!! What was I thinking?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Fat Slice Pizza is awesome pie!!!!! The Cal Berkeley frat guys and sorority girls have it made with fat slice as I'm sure this pizza hits the spot after a long night of slamming Nasty Light and Milwaukee's Beast!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Hey, when in Berkeley do this place!!!! It rivals some other place called Blondies, but don't bother going there!!!!! This pizza has everything you look for in a good pie!!!!!! Do this place and do it hard!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I love you Fat Slice!!!!

Fat Slice Pizza on Urbanspoon

No comments:

Post a Comment