When I walked out to my mailbox that fateful afternoon and saw that a CPK envelope had arrived with my name on it, full well knowing the contents contained my gift cards, I felt like a chunky, unattractive, 34 year old woman, desperate to have a baby, whose insecure boyfriend had just been proposed to her!!!! I was giddy with adrenaline flowing through my heart and veins and became light headed and flustered!!!!! This was an absolute dream come true for me, like a childhood fantasy being consummated!!!!!!!! Free pizza from CPK!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
When I opened that glorious envelope and when my gift cards slid out of that folded paper, I just sat on my couch and held those cards in my hands like a relapsed alcoholic holds a shot glass full of Jameson between his fingers finally partaking in that liquid treasure that he'd had been missing from his life for so so long!!!!!!!!!!!! Doesn't matter if he has to go back in to rehab or answer to his accountability partners later that week at the AA meeting!!!!! It just felt so right holding it there in my hands!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Anyway, to make a long story short, that night I drove down to the CPK I happened to be near in Newport and decided to go with three CPK pizzas!!!!!!!!! I hadn't been to CPK in years and I coundn't wait to partake in this free baked Italian feast compliments of CPK themselves!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
I decided to go for the Mushroom Pepperoni and Sausage, Roasted Garlic and Chicken, and Habenero Carnitas!!!!! And and and... I didn't share them with anybody!!!!!!! They were all for me!!!!!! I know I know... I'm a selfish gluttonous pig... But I'm proud of who I am!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I juxtaposed my pizzas and started to go to work!!!!!!! As I felt the dough, cheese and toppings jump through my mouth, like clothes in a washing machine, those dreams and expectations I had had about my free CPK pizza were coming true!!!! Each of these pies was simply fantastic!!!! The quality of the dough was brilliant, the cheese was plenty gooey, while the toppings and sauce complimented everything so so well!!!!!! Probably my favorite was the Habenero Carnitas!!!!! Carnitas on pizza?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Genius!!!!!! Absolutely and utterly genius, CPK!!!!!! Come out for an encore!!!!!! We're all standing and clapping!!!!!! Come back out!!!! Play another song for us!!!!!!! One more!!!!!! Play one more!!!!! We want an encore from the Habenero Carnitas Pizza, CPK!!!!!!!!! Please!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! And and and... the Habenero Carnitas pie came with salsa!!!!! Gosh damn, I could've eaten 45 inches of that Habenero Carnitas pizza smothered in their salsa!!!!!!!! Wow!!!!!!! The Garlic Chicken was plenty delicious as well and the Mushroom Pepperoni and Sausage could hold it's own with any high powered pizza joint in the country!!!!!!!!! When I had finished all of my pizza's, I felt like a beached whale and could barely even stand up and walk out of the place!!!!!! My eyes became bloodshot red and I wanted to just place my forehead down on my table and take a nap right then and there!!!! If the Red Cross had been around wanting me to donate blood, the phlegbotomist probably could've just poked a hole in my gut and drawn from there because I think all eight pints of my blood happened to be sitting in my stomach after my CPK meal!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
CPK, I am grateful for your generosity!!!!!! To be honest, if I hadn't gotten those gift cards from you via Twitter, I don't know when I would've ever been back to visit!!!!! Your pizza is fabulous and of a high quality!!!!!!!!!! My advice to those who read this: Get on over to CPK and pound down pies like your trying to tendorize meat!!!!!! So good and so fulfilling!!!!! Do it now!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
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