Pink's Hot Dogs: Everybody Should Go At Least Once!!!!

I'm obsessed with Hot Dogs!!!!! I don't know how else to say it or what to do with myself!!!! I am absolutely obsessed and consumed with sampling the finest tubed meat sticks that exist in this world!!! I mean, I'm more obsessed with eating a boat load of fine tasting hot dogs these days than Amnon was obsessed with lying with his half sister Tamar!!!!! The only difference is that I don't feel any regret or experience any personality change after I envelop those dogs through my lips and push them down into my famished, undernourished abdominal pouch!!!!!!!!! And hopefully Absalom won't come looking to kill me either!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
So I was up in LA the other day, driving up La Brea, when I passed Pinks and saw that there was hardly a line at all!!!!! What?!?!?!?!?!?! The last time I was here I literally had to wait in line for 45 minutes with a bunch of Kansas tourists and movie studio techie nerds to make it to the counter to place my order!!!!! That was years ago and I told myself I would never ever do that again!!!!!! But with the line so short and my obsession with hot dogs at an all time high, it occurred to me that I could experience Pink's Hot Dogs for what it was really worth and not have to deal with the dog and pony show that usually accompanies this place!!!!! With that, I made a left turn into the parking lot of Pink's and decided that some hot dog carnage would be taking place in the very near future!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
I don't need to tell you that Pink's is a total tourist trap!!!!! It's right across the street from Paramount Studios and lined on almost every square inch of the wall in their dining room is a signed photo of a Hollywood celebrity!!!! It's pretty cool actually!!!!! They have many unique hot dog concoctions and this place is seriously on TV like every single day!!!! From Bank of America commercials to Eye on LA to Travel Channel and Food Network, I've seen more specials on Pinks Hot Dogs than I have Dateline episodes of Chris Hansen interviewing internet child predators!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! With that, you owe it to yourself at least once to try this place out just to say you ate there!!!!!!!
With a short line and wait time, it was on between me and Pink's!!!!! I hadn't eaten anything all day and I was completely and utterly starving and could not wait to clog these dogs down my throat and satisfy the hunger that had been brewing within me all day long!!!! When I got to the counter I ordered a Guadalajara Dog which comes with relish, onions, tomatoes, and sour cream, a Lord of the Rings Dog which comes with barbeque sauce and onion rings, and an Emeril Dog which had cole slaw, mustard, onions, jalapenos, bacon, and American cheese!!!!! I also had an order of fries!!!!!!! When the food was ready and I took my tray to my table, I looked down at my plate of hot dogs and starchy goodness, and the only thing that came to mind to say was to repeat the immortal words of New York Jets linebacker, Bart Scott: "Can't Wait!!" Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
I started off with the Guadalajara Dog!!! This was a good dog!!!! The combination of toppings were pleasing to the palette!!! I had never had sour cream on a hot dog before and it proved to be part a magical formula in the realm of hot dog toppings!!! It was very unique and I was beginning to think, "Hey, maybe it is worth it to wait 45 minutes for this food!!!" Next up was the Lord of the Rings Dog!!! Again, a very unique combination of toppings: barbeque sauce and onion rings!!! Never had it before!!!!! But it was good!!!!!!! The onion rings were tasty and the bbq sauce tangy!!! Combined with the dog, it was a masterful culinary creation!!!!!! Lastly was the Emeril Dog with the cole slaw, bacon, jalapenos, mustard, onions, and American cheese!!!!! When I lifted this dog up to my face, I could barely fit my mouth around it!!!! I got cole slaw smeered all over my nose and cheeks!!!!! It was beautiful!!!!!!!! Again, wonderful creativity and flavor combinations that made this dog work!!!!!!! I liked the creativity and out of the box thinking of Pink's when it comes to their menu items!!!!! Also, I thought the fries were some of the best I've ever had!!!!!! The were so g-damn good!!!!! Or was it the ketchup?!?!?!?!?! The ketchup has a kind of tanginess to it that made me want to scoop that pasty sugary tomato slop into my hands and just eat it like it was Ethiopian food!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
The only draw back for me with Pink's is that these dogs are Hoffy hot dogs. When I was a young boy you could buy Hoffy hot dogs at the super market. Without getting into details, I didn't have the most pleasant childhood and as I ate these Hoffy dogs, it reminded me of childhood memories that weren't so great which kind of put a damper on everything. I wasn't abused or anything, it just wasn't a great childhood. I then started thinking about family that I've grown distant from who are now getting older and thought "maybe I should try to reconnect with them in some way"... OK, nobody wants to hear this...
Overall, I liked Pink's! The dogs tasted good and they did well in satisfying my hunger!!!! I would also say there are places that are better for hot dogs. However, if you are in LA, it's a fun place to eat and visit and like I said, everybody should come here at least once to say they did it!!!! Are they worth waiting in line 45 minutes for?!?!?!?! I don't know about that... But come on a weekday like Tuesday or Wednesday at like 4pm and the line shouldn't be too bad!!!!!!! When you come, eat hard and don't hold back!!!!!! Do it with no regrets!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!