Diablo Burger: El Diablo!!! Dios Mio!!! El Diablo!!!!!

I was driving along I-40E, enjoying the picturesque scenery as I headed to Amarillo!!! Don't ask me why I was going to Amarillo! I have some family out that way who I had not seen in quite some time and I needed to touch base with them for reasons I won't bore you with!! Anyway, the drive on I-40E isn't really picturesque!!! I was being sarcastic!!!!!!! I know, a real stretch for me!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I woke up incredibly early to get as much driving in as I possibly could!!! After driving through Barstow, Needles, and Kingman, AZ, I couldn't help but just meditate and ponder as to what on God's earth would cause or motivate any human being who habitates this planet to live in any of the above mentioned cities?!?!?!?!?! I mean, if you lived in Needles, wouldn't you do everything in your God given powers and abilities to get the hell out of there?!?!?!?! The same can be said of Kingman!! Who lives in these places?!?!? Or a more important question is, Why?!?! I don't get it!!! Some people would say, "Well, it's home." OK, but.... well...nevermind!! I'm not going to try to understand these cities or the people who live in them!! Some people totally baffle me!!! To each their own I guess!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Upon waking up really early to drive to Amarillo and driving on 1-40E for about 7 hours, I arrived in Flagstaff right at about lunchtime!!!!! After driving for many hours straight and peering at nothing but barren desert wasteland, I was thoroughly depressed and needed to be cheered up badly!!! And what better way to cheer yourself up than emptying a truckload of food down your throat?!?!?!?! Flagstaff couldn't have been a more welcome sight!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! When I pulled in to Flagstaff, I was struck by the beauty and character of the city!!!! There were many old red brick buildings, fine looking downtown eateries, and a major university sprawling with energetic students in their late teens to early twenties!!!!! There was a big mountain with a snow capped top, pine trees, and snow all over the ground!!! Flagstaff is beautiful!!! Oh, and let us not forget, let us not forget.... that Flagstaff is incredibly crunchy!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! C'mon what do you expect?!?!?!?!?! It's a charming mountain town with a major university in it!!!! There's a  very intellectually progressive, doobie smoking feel to Flagstaff!!!! Some would say that Flagstaff is known for being like the Berkeley of Arizona!!! I would agree with that assessment!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! With that said, I pulled into the historic downtown area, made a left on Leroux St., parked my car and began looking for someplace to appease my depleted stomach after many hours of driving!!!! After walking around for a few minutes, I stumbled across this place called Diablo Burger!!! Actually, I had heard of Diablo Burger before and knew it had a sound reputation and much talked about burger!!!! But I wasn't exactly looking for it and did stumble across it!!! Upon seeing the entrance I said to myself, "OK, let's do this!!!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
When I walked in the door, I noticed that the inside of Diablo Burger is pretty small!!! They have only like three or four tables, but they're commune style, so people you don't know will just walk up to your table and sit down and eat with you!! Being that we were in a crunchy mountain town, I decided that the whole sharing and communism thing with the tables in Diablo Burger was cool!! These real earthy dudes, sat down at my table... it was chill!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
When I walked up to the counter to look over the menu and place my order, I asked the cashier what burger Diablo Burger was primarily known for. He replied to me and said, "There isn't necessarily a specific burger we're known for. We're more known for our beef." You know, as he said that to me, my mind immediately went to the gutter and I thought to myself, "Gosh, when it comes to the women in the Southern California area, I wish that's what I was known for..." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! OK OK, that's totally crude and I apologize! But I just couldn't resist!!! After looking at the menu, I went for The Cheech: guacamole, pepper-jack cheese, and jalapenos!!! I was super thirsty and didn't want to drink beer because I still had some driving ahead of me, so I just went for water. What's cool about the water here is that they bring it to you in this fancy looking wine-bottle type vessel!!! The water was very cold and clean tasting!! A very nice touch being up in the mountains and surrounded by the San Francisco Peaks, which is where this water probably came from!!!! After awhile, they brought out my Cheech placed on top of a stack of rosemary seasoned fries in a basket!!! I noticed that instead of traditional hamburger buns, Diablo Burger serves all of their burgers on a Thomas English Muffin and they brand their logo "DB" on the top part of the bread!!! It looks pretty cool!!!! Also, they told me that all of their burgers are served medium rare and are a little pink in the middle!! Fine with me!!! Bloody food is good food as far as I'm concerned!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I took off the top of my burger and squirted a healthy dose of the Diablo Burger ketchup!!! When I picked up my Cheech, probably half of the guacamole fell down into my rosemary fries!!!!! A good sign as the more toppings there are, the better!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! As I cuddled my burger and launched it towards my mouth to take my first bite, I noticed that this burger was fabulously juicy!!! The juice/grease from the burger began to fill and saturate the inside of my mouth!!! Burger juice again began falling all over my rosemary fries!!!! Oh, and their ketchup is very unique!!! It's like got this really spicy kick and tang to it! It compliments the beef nicely!!! With the combination of spicy ketchup, pepper jack, jalapenos, guacamole and high quality beef, there was a good kick to this burger!!!! Not sure how I felt about the English muffin as a bun as it seemed to stifle the flavor of the burger a bit, but overall, this burger was a superb one!!!!! It really eased the hunger that had been building up inside of me after about 7 hours of driving!!! Oh, and I have to say something about the rosemary fries!!! Usually I'm not a huge fan of rosemary, but there was something about being in the cool mountain air, combined with that spiciness and tang of the ketchup, that just caused the rosemary fries to work for me!!! Overall, Diablo Burger was a fantastic meal and experience!!!! When it comes to the greatest burger of all time, I'm not sure I can say it's at the top of my list, but certainly Diablo Burger is in the conversation!!! When in Flagstaff, hit this place and hit it hard!! The burgers are a little on the small side so you can probably do like 3-4 if you're really hungry!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Nice job Diablo Burger!! If I'm ever in Flagstaff, we'll meet again!!!!

El Cholo Cantina: A Culinary Delight!!!!!

OK look, El Cholo Cantina is Americanized Mexican food! Simple as that! And there's nothing wrong with Americanized Mexican food at all! At all!! I've been to El Mercadito in Boyle Heights, the barrios of Tecate, and have been to more than one backyard Mexican barbecue in East LA! I would like to think that I know and have sampled legitimate and real Mexican Food!!! Does that mean because El Cholo is a little bit of a departure from the real thing mean that it is automatically disqualified as being good tasting food?!?! I say absolutely not!!!!!!!! No Way!!!!!!!! One of my best friends is Mexican and grew up in Santa Ana!! His parents immigrated to the US and hardly speak a word of English! Barry, my buddy, gets absolutely offended when it comes to Americanized Mexican food!!! My question for him is always, "Why?!?!" I always tell him, "Dude, you just have to take this food for what it's worth! It's not what you are going to find when down in Mexico and that's OK! The same idea applies for Japanese food, Italian food, Chinese food, etc. The different ethnic foods you find here in America are not truly authentic!! So just relax, put the food in it's proper context and enjoy it!!!" He never agrees with me!!  With that being said, Americanized Mexican food absolutely has a place in the culinary world and I find it to be quite delicious!!!  And again, El Cholo Cantina is not the type of truly authentic Mexican Food you will find in the aforementioned places! But places like El Torito, Chipotle,  and Chevy's  though not authentic ... they're damned good!!! They're damned good!!! They're damned good!!! They're damned good!!! They're damned good! They're damned good!!! You're not going to change my mind!!! You're not going to change my mind!!! You're not going to change my mind!!! You got that Barry!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
So with that, I went to El Cholo Cantina the other night!!! I've been here a few times before, and hands down, this is one of my favorite restaurants to eat at!!!!! When I heard we were gonna eat at El Cholo Cantina in Irvine, I began to get butterflies in my stomach and I felt exactly like I did the night before I asked my high school crush to the Senior Prom!!! Later that summer she dumped me and broke my heart!!!! Damn you, Elaine!!!!!! Damn you!!!! ... Anyway, upon knowing that El Cholo Cantina would soon happen, my gut became filled with childhood puppy-love and joy which I thought was now dulled down because of experiencing the harsh realities of life!!!! I never knew I could feel this way again!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! In the past at El Cholo, I've hammered down the Chicken Chimichangas (which are not Mexican, but Southwestern/Tex-Mex), and the Carne Asad Burrito (Again, burritos are not Mexican), both of which were completely and utterly brilliant meals!!!!! Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo g-damn good!!!!!!... SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!
When I returned the other night, it was the Carnitas Plate that caught my eye!!!! I was like a Rainbow Trout who had been fooled by a plastic caddisfly loitering on the top of a stream by an angler with his fly-rod!!!! I mean, when I saw that Carnitas Plate on the menu, I was hooked!!!!! And no matter how hard I might've wanted to fight and jump and get the hell out of the grips of that fishing net I was being reeled into, there was no escape for me!!!!! Carnitas Plata pour mi por favor!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
After our orders had been placed, our wonderful server for the nigh brought out basket upon basket of free chips and salsa!!!!! We ordered some guacamole to accompany our chips and salsa!!!!! These chips were unbelievably tasty!!!! Unbelievably!!!!! Jesus Christ!!!! These chips had to have just been pulled out of the fryer!!! They were hot, greasy, and absolutely melted in my mouth!!!!! And their salsa is nothing short of addicting!!!!!!!! There is something they put in the salsa that makes is so flavorful!!!!! I can't put my finger on what exactly it was, but I swear to God I probably could've just sat at that table all night plowing through basket after basket after basket of those chips and salsa!!!!!!!! With these chips and salsa in mind, it's now tempting for me to get a syringe, fill it with El Cholo salsa, dim the lights in my room and line my arm with tire tracks every single night of the week!!!!! No joke!!!!! Oh, the guacamole was OK too!!!! While we were eating our chips and salsa, our server suprised us and brought out a plate of chips covered in melted cheese!!!!!! When we asked him about this he pointed to a small sign on our booth that read, "Nacho Table." Apparentely if you're sitting at the "Nacho Table" then they'll bring you out a free plate of Nachos!!!! Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttt!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!! In picking up a nacho, I actually picked up something like 10 of them because the cheese was sticking and attached to many of the chips!!!!! Hey, it counts as one nacho, right?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! The cheese and chips were so greasy and so beautiful tasting that I actually had a moment of clarity and asked in kind of a loud voice looking at the ceiling, "What have I done to deserve this?!?!?!?!?! What have I done to receive such a graceful blessing?!?!?!?!?!?!" People then started to stare at me. It was a little embarrassing...
Then then then then... They brought out the entrees!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! When the server dropped my plate down in front of me, I had forgotten how unbelievably massive the portions are which El Cholo gives to you!!! I had a huge pile of carnitas on my plate along with a huge side of rice and beans!!!! I asked the waiter to bring me some extra corn tortillas because my plan was to construct as many carnitas tacos as I possibly could out of my plate!!! I ended up having a total of 9 corn tortillas that were each filled with carnitas, rice, beans, guacamole, lettuce, and salsa!!!! Nine of them baby!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! As I sat there loading up tortilla after tortilla and pushing each of them down into my growling stomach, I think I could actually hear myself getting fatter and my arteries clogging!!!!! The food here is incredibly heavy and sits in your gut like a g-damn cinder-block!!!! But I love and live for that feeling of lard slowly churning through your intestines, so for me it was a mezmorizing moment!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! I thought the carnitas were fantastic!!! The tortillas were hot and fluffy, and the rice and beans were all of a high quality!!!!! This was a wonderful, life giving meal that I partook in at El Cholo Cantina!!!!! So excited was I, that I ended up texting my closest friends, sharing with them that I had just had one of the most amazing meals of my entire life!!!! I want to share meaningful and important moments in my life, and this moment was worth sharing with the people who are closest to me, the ones I love!!!! That's what I want to do when I have a good meal!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! 
All I can say is that if you want a huge plate of sublime tasting Mexican food, then this is your place!!! Don't leave this life with regrets!!!! Go to El Cholo Cantina and experience the life that is truly life!!!!!! Oh yeah, and be sure to sit at the "Nacho Table!!!!!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Do it now!!! Now I say!!!

Wingstop: I Want Them So Bad!!!!!!

There's something about flipping on an NFL football game that just causes me to crave chicken wings!!!  I mean it's like as soon as I push the power button and the screen pops on with Tom Brady or Drew Brees slinging the ball around, almost immediately my desire for savory flavored buffalo wings becomes so intense that I'm like Mr. Hyde wanting to beat a man to death with a wooden cane if anybody get's in my way or disturbs me!!!! Just let me sit in solace and pull every last bit of chicken off that bone with my teeth for God's sake!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
With the NFL playoffs now underway, it's as though I've ingested Dr. Jekyll's special potion and my want for chicken wings has become the most ardent feeling anyone can ever know!!!! ... EVER!!!! My yearning for buffalo wings is unmatched from any human desire that has ever existed in the history of the world!!!! I'm talking about religious longings, wanting to spend time with passed loved ones, the prayers for friends and families to be healed, and the pursuit of personal wealth!!!! Each of those things can bring about fierce emotion and need!!!!! But I'm going to tell you right off the bat, my fervor in wanting to absolutely destroy as many chicken wings that can be crammed down into my cram hole while watching NFL football is unmatched by any passion and/or eagerness that exists in any human soul!!!!! No matter how bad you want to spend one more day with your deceased parents, I want chicken wings during football more!!!!!!!! No matter how painful it might be see your best friend laying in a hospital bed after a bad accident and wanting more than anything to see them healed, I want my chicken wings more!!!!!!!!! No matter how badly you want that multi-million dollar pay day so you can live a life of luxury and comfort, I want my g-damn buffalo wings and beer while watching the NFL playoffs more!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Enter Wingstop!!!!! I came here last Sunday because a buddy of mine down in South County wanted to watch the NFL playoffs!!! So, when you watch football, a non-negotiable fact of the universe is that you must eat buffalo wings!!!!!!!! And and and... drink a case of beer!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I'm just kidding about drinking the entire case!!! That'd be a little excessive!!!!! But you do need to have beer to some capacity!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I had just seen a commercial with Troy Aikman in it promoting Wingstop and their wings looked nothing short of amazing!!!!!! Before I walked in to Wingstop I went to their website and did quite a bit of planning and studying for what I was going to order!!!!! After contemplating the menu for hours and hours and analyzing my cravings so as to have the best eating experience possible, I settled on the 35 wing family pack that comes with up to three flavors and large fries!!!!! And let me just say that last Sunday, I was eating as a family of one!!!!!! That 35 pack with the large fries was all for me!!!!! My friend and I couldn't agree on what we wanted so he got Taco Bell!!!! Flavor-wise I did 12 garlic parmasean, 12 of the original hot, and 11 of the Cajun!!!!  Also, only having one large order of fries simply wasn't going to be enough for me!!!! So, I went to Wendy's and picked up 2 more orders of large fries!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
I just gotta say, that the combination of Wingstop buffalo wings, fries, beer, and the NFL playoffs, proved to be a more glorious moment than what Peter, John and James witnessed on the Mount of Transfiguration that day some 2000 years ago!!!!! I know I know, I'm blaspheming!!!! Forgive me God!!!!! These wings were so crispy, so flavorful, and so utterly satisfying that if my life was being DVR'd then I would've recorded my Wingstop meal last Sunday and then just put it on a continuous loop for days on end!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! This chicken, and these flavors and sauces are beautiful!!!!!!! For the entirety of the game I was licking my fingers trying to capture every last bit of flavor off of my epidermal before I had to use the facilities and wash my hands!!!!! The garlic parmasean, original hot, and cajun were all spectacular and filled with excellent flavors!!!! Oh yeah, and their fries are good too!! Hey, it's football season!!!!!! Do yourself a favor and pound Wingstop wings to no end!!!! Do it now!!!!! You won't regret it!!!! In fact, I've gotta go because there's a football game on right now and my Mr. Hyde mentality is starting to take over!!!! Give me my Wingstop wings or I will beat you with a stick!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Jimmy's Burger Joint: A Sight to Behold!!!!

There is always something refreshing when driving down 17th Street in Costa Mesa! There is heart, there is character, there is the history of Costa Mesa that you'll find on 17th Street like no place else in town! I've been eating a lot of burgers lately and have found myself on a vision quest of sorts to find the best burgers around! Does anybody remember the movie Vision Quest with Matthew Modine?!?!?!?! C'mon somebody out there knows what I'm talking about, right?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahaha!! For Modine in the film, he found meaning in life by dropping 22 pounds and defeating an unbeaten high school wrestler in Washington! Well, my personal vision quest is to perhaps gain 22 pounds on my search for the most succulent delicious burgers in the history of documented time!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! So, I'm looking for the best of the best burgers in Southern California!!! Side note: Does anybody remember the movie with Eric Roberts and James Earl Jones called Best of the Best?!?!?!?! ... OK OK, I'll stop with the movie references!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha!!!!
Anyway, I found that Jimmy's Burger Joint on 17th Street in Costa Mesa has been making a little bit of noise when it comes to the deliciousness of their burgers!!! And to continue to fulfill my destiny of searching never endingly for the greatest burger ever, I drove over to Jimmy's to experience the hype of these burgers for myself!!
To my surprise, Jimmy's is an incredibly small place! Not that that's bad or anything, but for a place that talks about being a hot spot to watch football and drink cold beer, I envisioned a larger space! Not a knock against Jimmy's, just an observation!! I took a seat at the bar and I ordered a Jimmy's Burger!! I was sitting at a seat that enabled me to peer back in to the kitchen so that I could see as they were preparing my burger over a blazing flame on the grill!! It was a beautiful sight for me to behold!!!!! I would even go so far as to say that it was a more beautiful thing to observe then Munch's The Scream, the inside of the Sistine Chapel, a sunset in Santorini, and the view of Yosemite atop Half-Dome!!! I've been to and seen all of those things/places and found them to be nothing short of breathtaking!!! And I'm not even exagerating when I say that what I saw in Jimmy's that day in the kitchen, took my breath away moreso than those 4 things mentioned above!!! The view of that raw cattle being charred on a grill with fire shooting up and grease dripping down onto the burners, damn near brought me to tears!!!!!
The burger, when brought out to me, was a g-damn work of art!!!! It looked so beautiful and so emotionally moved me, that I would argue that it deserves it's own g-damn wing at the Orange County Muesuem of Art just down the road!!!! That's truth!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
The Jimmy's Burger that I stuffed into my face that afternoon had wonderful flavors, fresh toppings, and had an extremely high endorphin releasing capability!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Also, the fries here are very unique!!! I think they're fried in peanut oil to some capacity, but I don't know for sure!!! I hardly know anything about cooking, preparation, or ingredients!!! I just like to eat a lot of food and I can tell you whether it tastes good or not!!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! But the fries were excellent!!! They were incredibly juicy and greasy, so much so that I had to ask for extra napkins to dry my hands off after I would squeeze five of those fries together, smear them in my goop of ketchup, then place them to rest in my mouth!!!!!! The fries were great and complimented the burger nicely!!!!
Overall, I enjoyed my visit to Jimmy's Burger Joint and found their burger to be quite a noble one!! I will say that Jimmy's has more of a neighborhood feel to it!! If I lived around the corner, I would probably come to Jimmy's all the time to watch football and drink beer!! Truthfully, I wouldn't get in my car and drive to this place to watch a game!!! But I will reiterate that this burger is fantastic and I recommend it wholeheartedly!!!! Do this place!!! Give it a shot and experience an excellent Orange County burger!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Albertaco's: Not the Best I've Ever Had, But Not Bad.

So, I have been to Albertaco’s on three different occasions, and to be perfectly blunt and honest, have failed to understand the hype surrounding this establishment!!! I’ve noticed on urbanspoon that it’s ranked as the number 5 “cheap eats” place in all of Orange County. Plus, one of my co-workers who went to Saddleback College, which Albertaco’s is right across the street from, swears by this place! I mean she goes ga ga every single time the topic of Mexican Food is brought up in a coversation around the office!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Albertaco’s has been on my radar for quite some time and I was excited to try it, and quite honestly really really really really wanted to like this place!!! We're talking desperately wanting to like!!!!! I mean as I sat eating my Albertaco's Mexican Food, I was looking for excuses or anyhing I could latch on to about this fare that would cause my emotions to inflame so I could write an over the top review of this Mission Viejo eatery!!! I tried, Albertaco! I swear to you that I tried!!!!! I dug down deep into the portals of my heart and soul and failed to muster up any kind of passionate depiction or feeling over my experience eating at Albertaco's!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Look, I try to keep it positive around here and I like to have fun with my reviews! But if I want to be taken seriously as a food blogger, then I have to dish out a little bit of negativity when it comes across my palette. I don’t like being negative and I would never ever tell somebody to not eat someplace unless the food and or service is exceptionally poor (or if your name is Gilley’s in Las Vegas).  So let’s just establish that right off the bat!! In no way does this review of Albertaco’s mean you should not eat here! Try the food for yourself! You may have a much better experience than I did!! Also, let me just say that the food at Albertaco’s is not bad at all. It’s not low quality or poor in any way!!! The owners and employees at Albertacos work very hard and take noticeable pride in their food!!! And for that, I say to Albertaco, Muchos Gracias por todo!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

So the other day as I was driving down to San Diego, I stopped here for lunch to give Albertaco’s one last shot!! I ordered a Carne Asada Burrito, 3 fish tacos, and a chicken quesadilla!!!! I ate every last bite of my food, so it couldn’t have been that bad, right?!?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! First off let me say that the carne asada burrito was fine. The carne asada had good flavor, and the fillings of rice, beans, guacamole and salsa complimented everything nicely!!! I was off to a good start!!!! I then moved on to my fish tacos!!! The downfall with these fish tacos was the white sauce. It was overly-mayonaisey and sweet, which just didn’t work for me!!! But, I ate all three of them, so again, it couldn’t have been too bad!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I then capped off my Mexican feast with their chicken quesadilla!!! There wasn’t anything fantastic about the chicken quesadilla unfortunately. The flavors were kind of bland and the combination of everything together didn’t do much for me!!! The quesadilla was huge though and I had to push through some pain to squeeze that mother down in to my gut!!! But I did it!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

If you’re deciding whether or not to eat at Albertaco’s, I would say, go! Heck if there was a night sometime in the future where I was really lusting for some Mexican food, I could see myself returning!!! Go to Albertaco’s! They are worthy of your business! They will not give you bad food by any means!! It’s just that I’ve had Mexican food that in my opinion is much better! Not sure why they are the 5^th ranked cheap eats place in all of OC! But hey, they’re doing something right!!! 

DG Burger: A Damn Good Burger, at Damn Good Burger!!!!

I first heard about DG Burger when I saw that it was the “talk of the town” in Orange County on Urbanspoon.com. And I am always on the hunt for a good burger to eat! Always!! But I’ve gotta admit that when I saw DG Burger was actually in the private dining room at Charlie Palmers in Bloomingdale’s at South Coast Plaza, I thought it might be a little too high society for me! I mean who the hell can afford to shop and eat at South Coast Plaza these days?!?! Oh wait, I know who... Those blonde haired blue eyed USC grads who live in Newport Beach and act like nobody else on the planet is relevant or exists except for them. Talk about an obnoxious, self-centered, cultish, group of people... Shesus!!! Hell, the Branch Davidians in Waco think USC people are annoying!! David Koresh wanted to be president of USC, but was ultimately rejected because he lacked the insane Marshall Applewhite glare in his eyes which USC requires of its people!!! You want an example of horrible people who in essence do nothing more in life than fill up space that otherwise useful people would occupy?!?!?! Look no further than the graduates of USC!!! Hell, USC is the only university in the country which I know of that offers the major, “Managing Daddy’s Inheritance.” God  what a sad commentary on humanity that USC is!! Hang your head in shame, losers!!! What a disgusting institution filled with spoiled, arrogant, myopic pigs who contribute nothing to the world!!!! Oh wait, George Lucas graduated from USC and he brilliantly thought up of Jar-Jar Binks. I stand corrected. Thank you for your offering to the world, Mr. Lucas. USC must be very proud of you. Oh and your screenplay and directing of Attack of the Clones was just brilliant. I mean the writing of the romance between Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen was just so convincing that I was in utter shock when Natalie and yourself got nominated for Razzies in the categories of worst actress, director, writer, and picture, but lost! But you did win the worst screenplay Razzie, so bravo USC and Mr. Lucas for your wonderful accomplishments and donations to the world!  But you’re worth many billions, so, whatev. I guess you’ll have the last laugh...

Anyway, I work for a living and do my best to give back and help my fellow man in whatever capacity possible, unlike those reprehensible USC idiots!!! Needless to say, I was out of my element walking around South Coast Plaza and sitting down in the private dining room at Charlie Palmers!! But it’s about the food, so I decided that on this day I would bring a certain focused intensity to my eating and not worry about the abhorrent USC grads I was rubbing shoulders with!!! OK, on to the food...

At DG Burger, you order your food at the counter from a guy who I guess is a fine-dining waiter from Charlie Palmers, and then take a seat in their upscale private dining room! They give you a number and bring you your food in paper containers and checkered wax paper!!! It’s an interesting combination here of high-end dining and a casual burger joint! They even had a flat screen in there with Sportscenter turned on so I could watch my football highlights while waiting for my food!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!! When my burger was brought to me it looked and smelled absolutely delicious! I ordered my DG Burger with cheddar and it came with lettuce, tomato, onions, and their special DG Sauce!!!! When I stacked all of the toppings together and lathered up the beef with a healthy dose of ketchup, I squeezed that burger together and inhaled it like I was Morton Downey Jr. sucking on a cigarette!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! It was juicy, flavorful, and I felt completely gratified as I chewed down that food and as my esophagus pulled it down into my barren, growling stomach!!! Now, my expectations were pretty damn high for this place, after all, their name is “Damn Good Burger.” I was expecting nothing short of a damn good burger, and you know what?!?!?!?! It was a damn good burger at Damn Good Burger!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Perhaps not in the same class as some of the elite burgers I have sampled over time, yet an incredibly worthy burger that lives up to its billing as being damn good!!!! Also, their fries are very nice!! There’s something in how they fry them that makes the potatoes very succulent and enjoyable to eat!!! I don’t know, maybe the flavor of the fries was just my imagination, but the fries stood out as being some of the finer spuds I've had the pleasure of devouring! 

After a long day of walking around South Coast Plaza and blowing your wad on over-priced clothes and accessories, DG Burger will go a long way in curing whatever guilt or buyers resmorse you may feel for the irresponsible spending habits you partook in for the day!!!! Hey, I guess that’s why all the USC grads are there, right?!?! They know that eventually daddy will see the credit card statement and those spoiled, useless, Trojans who frequent South Coast Plaza spending their time, money and resources on themselves and material possesions while thumbing their noses at a world in need, will have some explaining to do!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! It makes complete sense as to why all the USC degenerates crowd this place!!! When at South Coast Plaza, treat yourself to a DG Burger!!! Do it because this is a damned good burger, despite having to be around those .... "people" from USC!!!!!! Eat hard!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Berkeley Dog: Simply Marvelous!!!!

Hot Dogs and Sausages have always had a special place in my heart!!! Especially when I suck down that encased pork in a tube and it gets lodged in my chest cavity from eating too much too quickly. then it quite literally has a special place in my heart!!!! I mean, I can gulp down sausages and frankfurters like I'm washing down an ice cold glass of water in the middle of the desert on a hot summer's day!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Let's just say that I have capitalized on numerous occasions while at Dodger Stadium sitting in the All You Can Eat Pavillion and going back every single inning for Dodger Dogs and Nachos with all the fixings!!!! I do it right, baby!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahaha!!! I want it to be known that in my opinion, when Frank McCourt made the business savvy decision to give fans the option to sit in the Right Field Pavilion and stuff down as many Dodger Dogs as humanly possible, it was a moment that rivals the Kirk Gibson Game 1 home run in 1988, the signing of Manny Ramirez, a Sandy Koufax no-hitter, and Fernandomania in the early 80's!!!! Though Mr. McCourt's reign as Dodger owner is mired in scandal and controversy, he made the most important and significant decision in Los Angeles Dodger's history.... He let us eat as many Dodger Dogs as we want as long as we were willing to pay a little extra for seats in right field!!!!!! You Mr. McCourt, are a genius!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! OK, my point is that I love hot dogs and sausage and I have done some major damage to the swine industry in this country!!!!! I am proud of the work I have done in the name of keeping the pig farms in business in the midst of a struggling economy!!!!! I have probably single handedly paid the mortgage of at least a handful of those working in the pork industry!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
OK OK, Berkeley Dog!!! If you follow my blog, you may remember that not too long ago, I was in the Bay Area and upon my entrance into Marin County, my first stop wasn't the Golden Gate Bridge, the Trans America Building, Alcatraz, or Fisherman's Wharf!!!! No no no no no no no!!!!! My first stop.... Top Dog on Durant in Berkeley!!!!! Home to world famous hot dogs and sausages!!!! I pounded hot dogs and sausages like a star that day and often times will go back and read my review of Top Dog to relive that special and brilliant eating moment in my life!!!!!! Now, when I heard that there was a place in the Orange County area called Berkeley Dog, the first thing that popped into my head was, Top Dog in Berkeley!!!!! Oh my God!!!!! Could this be happening?!?!?!?!?!?! I mean, is this for real or is it a dream?!?!?!?!?! A Top Dog like restaurant within driving distance to where I live?!?!?!?!?! I just had to go!!!!! I couldn't wait a single moment more than was necessary to absolutely ravage the pork products residing at Berkeley Dog in Mission Viejo!!!!!!!
Berkeley Dog was about a thirty minute drive for me to get to, and you know what?!?!?! It was well worth it!!!! I got there a few minutes before 11:30am, which is when they opened, and I sat outside the front doors of Berkeley Dog like a puppy dog waiting in the alleyway for scraps from the days leftovers!!! But right when 11:30am hit, I swung open those doors, walked up to the counter, and ordered my sausages with authority!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Actually, before I ordered, I asked the guy taking orders about the connection between Top Dog and Berkeley Dog. His response.... "There's no connection at all. We are completely independent of one another. They let us use their artwork, and they are the inspiration behind this place, but we are not connected in any way." I've gotta say, that was a bit disheartening to hear!!! But I was so worked up to guzzle down sausages, I didn't let that hinder me in any way and proceeded to order a Frankfurter, Bockwurst, German Frankfurter, and two orders of fries!!!!!
When my sausage links were finished, I noticed that similarly to Top Dog, Berkeley Dog serves their sausages on a baguette type of bun!!! But oh that pork!! It was so shiny and greasy and beautiful smelling, that I walked over to the condiment bar and proceeded to put onions, relish, mustard, jalepenos, and and and and and yes... Ketchup!!!! I don't give a crap what some people say!!! Ketchup is a g-damn must for any type of sausage!!!! This whole notion that you can't have ketchup on your sausage is a gross injustice that I find deeply offensive and am utterly appalled by!!! Gotta have ketchup on your hot dog!!! You've got to!!!! It's just not the same without it!!!! You can call me a commie bastard all you want but I will douse that tubed pork with a healthy portion of ketchup and enjoy every single last bite that I have with my sausage!!!! That's how I roll!!!!!
So after my sausages were good and loaded up with all the condiments, I went after those dogs like Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino goes after some slutty, intoxicated lassie in a nightclub at 2am!! I mean I went for it and put a whoopin' on those links that Chris Brown would've been proud of!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Now now, I know there is nothing funny about abusive relationships!!
These sausages were so succulent, juicy and flavorful that after my firtst bite I just had to stop, cross myself, and thank God in heaven for the gift of pork, Muslims, and Jews!!! Of course neither Muslims nor Jews eat pork, so it means more for you and me!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! With each bite I took, mustard, onions, relish, ketchup, and jalepenos would spread across my face and would fall into the palms of my hands!!!! I had to lick my hands and the surrounding parts of my face that could be reached with my tongue after every bite I took!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! And as that greasy sausage and freshly baked baguette sat in my stomach, all of the worries, all of the pain, all of the uncertanty about the future and the outcome of my rotting marriage, simply left me!! Some people would turn to booze or drugs as an escape... Not me!!! I'll take Berkeley Dog any day of the week to numb the pain of life, thank you very much!! (I hope my wife doesn't read this! If she does... I love you baby!). This is high quality sausage and is worth every single cent you spend on them!!! Not far off from Top Dog in Berkeley at all!!! Not at all!!!
Berkeley Dog is beautiful! The sausages are beautifully prepared, taste stupendous, and they take me back to times of sitting in the stands at Dodger Stadium or in the parking lot of the Colisseum or Rose Bowl tailgating before a game!!! There's just nothing like it!!! It's simply marvelous!!!! If you live in Mission Viejo, then you're a lucky son of a b*tch and I envy you!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I'm just kidding! I'm a lover not a fighter!!! But, you owe it to yourself to do this place!!! Do it now and do it hard!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!