Stout Burgers & Beers: Heaven on Earth!!!!!

A few years back I came across a book called The Game by Rolling Stone journalist Neil Strauss!!!! In The Game, Strauss chronicles how he transformed himself from a nerdy, insecure reject, into a confident sauve pick-up artist able to hook up with any woman he desired!!!! He learned his 'game' from a a master pick-up artist by the name of Mystery who was the host of that show on VH-1 a few years back called The Pick-Up Artist!!!!! Is what Neil Strauss writes in his book for real?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I mean, is some of it exaggerated?!?!?!?!?!?! At first I thought so, but after talking to some people and doing some of my own research on YouTube, I think everything Strauss wrote in his book is accurate and true!!!!!!!! Talk about the Holy Grail of life!!!!! Having routines down, the confidence, and gambits to help in picking up even the hottest of women is honestly like a dream or fantasy coming to reality!!!!!!! Soon, I will be single and have made a vow that I will never ever get married again and devote myself to becoming like Neil Strauss and Mystery, picking up women in everyday life!!!!!!!!!  Plus, my true love in life is food and beer!!!!!! No woman could ever come remotely close to giving me the feeling that good food and strong beer gives me!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Don't worry, I would never do anything dishonest or disrespectful to women, but to be able to attract just about any woman is the most significant gift any one person can have in this life!!!!!! It's like having a g-damn superpower like the Flash or the Green Lantern!!!!!!!! But I would choose Strauss's ability or superpower over any super-hero's power in either Marvel or the DC comics!!!!!!!! And this power that Strauss has isn't a fantasy, it's real!!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Why am I talking about this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Well, recently I drove a friend up to LAX and instead of dealing with traffic on the 405, I decided to spend a few hours up in Hollywood and take a Neil Strauss reality tour!!!!! Hell, I've lived in Southern California my entire life and have spent hardly any time in Hollywood!!!!! So, I became a tourist for an afternoon and walked around to see the sights of Hollywood!!!! The Kodak Theater, Mann's Chinese Theater, Chateau Marmont, The Sunset Strip, The Scientology building (even though they kicked me out), and the Roosevelt Hotel!!!! Finally I was able to take some time and visit these places!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Though, Stout Burgers & Beers has nothing to do with Neil Strauss or The Game, I have been learning that quite possibly the greatest burgers in all of the USA exist in none other than Los Angeles!!!!!!! Chicago and New York have their hot dogs and pizza, Philadelphia has their cheesesteaks, Texas has their barbecue, San Francisco and Boston have their clam chowder, and oh yes indeed, Los Angeles has their burgers!!!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! And being that Hollywood is the stomping ground of Strauss and home to many chic bars and clubs where Mystery and Strauss would run their game, it reminded me of him when I decided to turn right on Cahuenga and sample the fine beef product that reside at Stout Burgers & Beers!!!!!
When I parked my car and began walking down Cahuenga, I was struck by all the weirdo's walking around!!!! And I'm not talking about the drug addicts and cross dressers everywhere I looked!!!! But I'm talking about the goth, emo's,  wannabe actors and gay people with small town values who come to Hollywood because the town they are from in the South or Midwest wouldn't accept them!!!!!!! Hey, that's cool!!!! You've got to do what you've gotta do, right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Right?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Anyway, when I walked up to Stout Burgers & Beers, I was initially struck by the awesome layout!!!! They have these very large glass doors that can open, so though you're inside it kind of feels like your outside!!!!! Also, the bar has this wood pannelling which makes for a rustic looking design that is totally bitchin' looking!!!!!! Their sign on the outside says they're open until 4am which means when the clubs close at 2am, the Neil Strauss and Mystery wannabe's can come to Stout and run their game in hopes of picking up some skanky, inebriated chick from Texas who's willing to experiment with the Godless values that make up Hollywood, California!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha!!! Although losing one's innocence isn't that funny!!!!!!
OK, so Stout Burgers & Beers prides themselves on their fine tasting burgers as well as pairing their ground beef sandwiches with a finely hand-crafted beer!!!!! Hey, craft beer and burgers!!!!!! Is there anything better?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?! I think not!!!!! This place was perfect for me!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! I wasn't sure what to order so I went with a Stout Burger which has on it blue cheese, roasted tomatoes, rosemary bacon, caramelized onions, and emi gruyere (whatever the hell that is), as well as an order of their fries!!!! Oh, and at Stout Burgers & Beers you must pair your burger with a craft beer!!!!!! I mean, you don't have to, but it's all part of getting the most out your experience there!!!!!!!! They have a wonderful selection of craft beer and their selection of craft beers tells you that they know what the hell they'd doing and talking about when it comes to pairing your burger with a good craft brew!!!!!!!! I went for a Mama's Little Yellow Pilsner brewed by Oskar Blues and it is a fabulous tasting beer!!!!! It was 11am when I ordered this beer too, but again, when at Stout, you've got to have beer!!!!!!! I hardly ever do it, but beer in the morning is brilliant, just brilliant I say!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
When the hip tatooed guy working the bar brought out my burger and fries it looked like a g-damn work of art!!!!!!! It looked beautiful and I was hesitant to dig in as I didn't want to ruin what looked to be a dazzling food sculpture!!!!! It would've been like vandalizing the statue of David in Rome!!!!!! But I had to do it!!!!!!!!!! I had to!! The Stout Burger just looked and smelled way too damn good!!!!!!!!! But before I would gorge on this burg, I decided to sample their fries!!!!!! The fries came out in what seemed like a cereal bowl and they were sprinkled with a rosemary seasoning!!!!!!!! Let me just say that these fries were amazing as I ingested them into my system!!!!!!! As I chewed and swallowed it brought back memories of a girl I had a short fling with in college!!!!! As we would make love she would tell me that I was "amazing!" And as I ate these deep fried rosemary potato slices, I just kept thinking of her telling me I was "amazing" because these fries were amazing to me!!!!!! I know I know, a gentleman never tells, and I'm not giving out any details!!!!! But these fries were orgasmic!!!!! Not even joking!!!!! Not even joking!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
After I had a good sampling of fries, and after I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette, I walked back inside and tackled the Stout Burger!!!!!! OK, in my opinion I have experienced some of the finest burgers in the world!!!!! Cherry Cricket in Denver, Burger Bar in Las Vegas, Slaters 50/50 in Anaheim, but honestly, this might be the single greatest burger I have ever had!!!!!!!! Not saying that it absolutely is, but it is right up there!!!!!!! Whatever part of the cow they used and whatever seasoning they used on the beef, and whatever  horseradish, bacon, and blue-cheese they used to make this burger, made it hands down one of the most profound eating experiences of my entire life!!!!!!!! With each bite I took, beef juice and horseradish would slop down on to my plate which caused me to smear my burger into my plate before moving on to another bite!!!!!! Like the short fling I had in college with that girl, I didn't want my time at Stout Burgers and Beers to end!!!!! This was hands down one of the most fulfilling and satisfying moments of my life!!!!! Not the day I graduated from college or the night when I was in love with my wife and proposed to her, could compare to the feeling of absolute completion and contentment that I felt while eating the Stout Burger at Stout Burgers & Beers in Hollywood!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!! I have never in my life experienced a culinary creation like the Stout Burger nor do I believe I ever will again!!!!!!! Am I overreacting?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Do I sound insane?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Well, if you were to experience the food at Stout Burgers & Beers you would know what the hell I'm talking about!!!! Hollywood is about a 90 minute drive for me, but you know what?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I would get in my car and blow a half a tank of gas and the entirety of my day just to devour a burger, fries, and beer from Stout!!!!!!! I believe it was Belinda Carlyle or Debbie Gibson who sang that song that went "ooooohhhhhhh Heaven is a place on earth!" Remember that song?!?!?!?!?! Well, no doubt she absolutely had to have been referring to Stout Burgers & Beers because this place is Heaven on Earth!!!!!! If you come here, you will feel no pain, you will cry no tears, you will experience no war or injustice because at Stout Burgers and Beers, all is right with the world!!!!! That's the power of the burgers and fries at Stout Burges & Beers!!!!! That the power of it!!!!!! The Fountain of Youth, A Genie Bottle with three wishes, being able to pick-up any woman you want like Neil Strauss, and.... Stout Burgers and Beers!!!! Yes yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whenever in Hollywood, do this place!!!!!!! But beware, you will never experience anything better!!!! Never ever!!!!! I love you Stout Burger!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahaha!!!!

                                             

Islands Fine Burgers & Drinks: Island Style, Brah!!!!

For whatever reason, I've been on a real corporate restaurant kick lately!!!! I usually don't go corporate with my eating, but recently I've had a rebirth of sorts when it comes to my appreciation of multi-location chain eateries!!!! "You are witnesses of the re-birth of Spinal Tap!!!! Hope you enjoy our new direction!!!!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Has anybody seen that movie?!?!?!?!?!?! Come at me if you have!!!!!!! So classic!!!!!!!!
So, I had a day off recently and just needed some time away to be by myself and eat a lot of food and drink a lot of beer!!!! I mean, what else do you do if you have a day off from work and nothing to do?!?!?!?!?! You overeat and get drunk, right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
With my recent infatuation with corporate burger places, there is an Islands on Tustin Ave. that I drive by all the time but have never actually been to!!!! I've been to the Islands in Irvine when I worked close by there a few years back and I used to meet some friends at the Islands in Laguna Hills a long long time ago, but that one has since closed down!!!
Anyway, with a day to kill and with the need to stuff my mouth full of greasy nourishment and multiple malted hops beverages, my plan was to hit Islands on Tustin Ave. just as happy hour was starting so I could get beer and appetizers on the cheap and experience fulfillment, satisfaction, and euphoria that nothing else in this life can bring!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
But, happy hour doesn't start until 4pm at Islands, so I had some time to waste!!!!! What to do?!?!?!?!?!?!?! How about going into the air conditioned dollar theater at the Main Place Mall?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Does that make me weird?!?!?!?!?!?! Going to the movies in the middle of the day all by myself?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Whatever, I don't care!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! OK, so this is why I hate going to the movies!!! When I walked into the the theater, it was practically empty!!!! Great, I've got the whole theater to myself so I can enjoy the film with no distractions!!!! But just as the lights were going down, some douche bag walks into the theater and sits down directly in front of me!!!!!! Dude, we're sitting in an empty g-damn theater full of many good seats and you have to sit down right in front of me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Dammit that was annoying!!!!!! And on top of that the guy kept taking out his cell phone and checking his e-mails and text messages during the movie!!!!!! Note to movie-goers: When you take your cell phone out and start playing with it in a dark theater in the middle of a movie, it's a massive distraction for those sitting behind you and beside you!!!!!!! There are people in the world who exist other than you!!!!!!!! What the hell is with people and their lack of common courtesy?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Eventually, I got up and moved to a different part of the theater!!!!!! But let me just say that I am not a proponent of government sanctioned killings!!!!!! However, if you bring a screaming baby into a movie theater, if you talk during a movie, or if you take out your cell phone to text or take a call in the middle of a movie, you effing deserve the death penalty!!!!!!!!!!! If you do any of those things, our government should take you out into the middle of the street and shoot you in a firing line for all the public to see!!!!!! Old school public execution style!!!!! I swear to Christ I'm not exaggerating and would wholeheartedly support legislation to punish rude a-holes who lack common courtesy and fail to acknowledge the existence of others at movie theaters!!!!!!!!! Shesus that's irritating!!!!!!!
OK, sorry for the negativity!!!!! When the movie was over it was 4pm and it was the happiest hour of the day at Islands Fine Burgers and Drinks!!!!!!!!!! Hhhhhhhuuuuuuuyyyyyyeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I walked in to Islands and took a seat at the bar!!!!! The first thing I noticed about Islands is that they have a fantastic atmosphere!!!!! The whole place is decorated Island style and has the feel of a beach bar, like you're walking up from the sand after a long surfing session and need to throw back a few beers!!!!!!!!! Also, the way they configure their TV's in the bar is great!!!!! They have 3 large flat screen TV's all right next to each other in a U-shape that follows the pattern of the bar, so whatever part of the U-shaped bar you are sitting on, you have a large flat screen right in front of you so it's ideal for watching sports while sucking back beer and food!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! After my bad experience at the theater earlier, I desparately needed some high powered endorphins to flow through my brain to cheer me up and help me forget about what had just happened!!!!! And what better way to do that than by eating and drinking a tremendous amount of food and beer!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
My first order of business: Beer!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahaha!!!! It was hot and muggy and a lighter tasting ice-cold lager sounded brilliant!!!!! The beer of choice for the day was an Islands Golden Lager!!!! This was a medium bodied pale lager with some hints of fruit!!!!! This beer was ice-cold and was so good tasting!!!!! The bartender mentioned to me that Karl Strauss does the brewing of Islands beers!!!!!! Such a good beer and I will return to Islands just to drink that golden colored lager!!!!!! So with a pint of beer in my empty belly, the alcohol was making me dizzy and my stomach started to shake like a 7.9 magnitude earthquake in the Phillipines!!!!!!! Hey, God bless the people of the Phillipines!! Our thoughts and prayers are with you!!!!!
To satisfy my booze induced hunger, I started off with Spinach Artichoke Dip, Beachside Sliders, and Tiki Tenders which are chicken strips!!!!!! All of these appetizers were nothing short of amazing!!!! The Spinach Artichoke Dip was hot, moist, and rich and had the ability to make me understand why Tweekers have difficulty getting clean!!!! When something makes you feel that good and brings that much pleasure to your body, you don't ever ever want to let it go!!!!!! This Spinach Artichoke Dip was so good that I am now a sympathizer of drug addicts!!!!!!! Wow!!!!! I know why you guys cant stop using!!!!!! I get it!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahashahaha!!!! Though drug addiction is no laughing matter...
Next were the Beachside Sliders!!!!! OK, no joke, maybe the best sliders I have ever had... EVER!!!!!!! Unbelievable!!!!! The buns on these things were toasted to perfection and the carmelized onions as well as the melted cheese and beef doused in ketchup made me want to curl up in a little ball and never ever leave Islands Fine Burgers and Drinks!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! To finish off my appetizer time, were the Tiki Tenders!!!!! These were fine!!! Nothing special, but good nonetheless!!!!! They had a nice crispiness and spice to them which made them go great with the beer!!!!
After appetizers I was ready for the main course, or should I say main courses!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Islands is known for their burgers, so, I went with three burgers off of their menu!!!!!!! I would've had more but I had three pretty hearty appetizers!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! The burgers I went with were the Kilauea Burger, Hula Burger, and the Bluenami!!!! Just before I placed my order of three burgers the nice lady behind the bar thought I was going to leave as she was getting my check ready, but NO!!!!! I was only getting started!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! When I asked her for those three burgs, she just kind of looked at me with a blank stare for a few moments and then said, "OK." The first burg I had was the Kilauea!!!! This had on it jalapeno's, pepper jack cheese, and a spicy chipotle mayo along with lettuce tomato and onions!!!! The Kilauea is a phenomenal burger!!! It was pretty damn spicy though, I'm not going to lie!!!!! Very juicy and full of flavor!!!! An excellent burg!!!! Second was the Hula Burger!!!! The Hula had on it mushrooms, swiss, lettuce and tomato's!!!!! This was probably my favorite burger at Islands!!! When I took that first bite into the Hula, the flavors that met my tongue were so pleasing that I proceeded to devour this burger like a pelican sitting on the rail at Huntington Beach Pier devours a fish!!!!!! Like, they just put the fish in their long beaks and swallow the damn thing whole!!!!!! That was me eating the Hula!!!!! It was so g-damn good that I finished it off in like three bites!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! At this point in my meal, I started to hit the dreaded food wall and was worried that I wouldn't be able to finish off the last burger of the day, the Bluenami!!!!! I needed an injection of Ghrelin into my system to complete my Islands experience!!!!! More Ghrelin!!!!! More Ghrelin I say!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! For the Bluenami, I was going to have to push through the pain, but in the end it would prove to be well worth it!!!!!!!! The Bluenami had on it Blue Cheese as well as lettuce, tomato, and onion!!! Again, this was a fabulous burger!!!! The meat was so juicy and tender and to combine that with the blue cheese on it made pushing myself to finish this meal a painless conclusion to my journey!!!!!!! When I had polished off the last bite of the Bluenami and pushed the empty basket away from me, the bartender came over to me with a look of disbelief on her face and said, "I've never seen anybody eat that much food before!" YEAH!!!!!!!! Success!!!!!! She then nervously asked me, "Do you want anything else?"
"Well, being that you've asked," I said, "How about a chocolate milkshake to wash it all down!"
"Wow!" she exclaimed! "I've never seen anybody consume so much in one sitting!!"
"Thank you," I replied... Why the hell do the last five sentences of this review read like a book?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Anyway, the real end of the journey was capped off with an Islands Chocolate Shake!!!! This shake was so rich and so creamy that it's not even fair!!! Is there any justice in the world?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! No!!!!!! After slurping up this shake, I thought to myself, "It's not fair!!!!!! This is so g-damn good that it isn't even fair!!!!!! Not even!!!!!!" Quite possibly the best milkshake I have ever had in all my time here on planet earth!!!!! Wow!!!!! Oh, and the fries are OK... Not the best I've ever had but OK.
In conclusion, I would wholeheartedly recommend Islands Fine Burgers and Drinks!!!! The saying 'all things in moderation' does not seem to apply to me!!!! I've yet to experience the benefits of moderation!!!! Or subconsciously, I just don't believe in moderation!!!! We'll go with the latter!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! When it comes to Islands Fine Burgers and Drinks, Chris Farley said it best in the movie Black Sheep when he was stoned on the stage with Mudhoney when he screamed, "You've got yourself some kick as* sh*t!!!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Eat hard, or don't eat at all!!!!!! I love you Islands!!!!!!!

Red Robin: A Corporate Burger Has Never Been This Good!!!!

I don't have a lot of people who read this blog, but I look at the stats every once in awhile and see that there are some people who check this site out!!! Hey, if you're the guy from Sweden, come at me!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I honestly don't care that hardly anybody reads my blog!!!! I'm fine with it!!!!! In the words of Ivan Drago from Rocky IV, I do this blog for me.... For Me!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! It's more of a creative outlet and an escape from my marriage that will soon end!!!!! And I'm sad about that!!!!!!  But look, there is something very important that I want to share with the very limited number of readers who might read my food reviews!!!!!! There is something I lay awake each night pondering, wrestling with, wondering about!!! There is a question that runs through my brain at night regarding how I can live out a certain concept more fully and vibrantly in my life!!!! It has nothing to do with being generous, or kind, helping those who are less fortunate, or stopping wars!!! Though those things are important and I would encourage everybody to be more generous, kind, loving, and peaceful!!!!! But to those who read this blog, if there is one credo, one mantra, one sustaining principle, one life tenet to build the entirety of your existence upon, it would be this.... Be Outeating Your Opponents!!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Outeat them I say!!!!!! It's as simple as that!!!!!! When you sit down at the dinner table and stare across the vast spread of food to see your wife, husband, mother, father, brother, sister, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, cousin, nephews, or whoever... that is your opponent!!!!!!!!!! Do you understand that?!?!?!?!?!?! They are your opponents!!!!!! Make absolutely no mistake about that!!!! Don't!!!!! Anybody who you sit down at the table with to have any meal with is your opponent, and when it comes to your opponents, you outeat them!!!!!!!!!! You do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll say it once more, Be Outeating Your Opponents!!! That's what I lay awake at night wondering about!!! How can do a better job of outeating my opponents!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

So with that, I went to Red Robin Gourmet Burgers not long ago and decided that I was going to put my money where my mouth was and outeat my opponents!!!!! And who were my opponents that day?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Everybody in the g-damn restaurant, that's who!!!!!!!!! I wanted to make damn well sure that when I walked out the doors of Red Robin that afternoon, nobody else would walk in during operating hours and devour more food than I would!!!! Hell, I wanted to make sure that nobody that week, or even for the entire year would eat more food than me during my visit to Red Robin!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Actually, I'm a Red Robin veteran but had not been in quite some time!!!!!!! I've eaten there on a number of occasions and used to go pretty regularly and kept returning due to their fine tasting burgers and bottomless steak fries!!!!!!!! It's a lot of g-damn food, baby!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! 

What brought me back to Red Robin however was that I was cleaning out some old drawers in my office and found two Red Robin gift cards!!!!! I couldn't remember if they had been used or not, so one afternoon I decided to have lunch at Red Robin and find out if there was any remaining balance on these bad boys!!! If not, then I'd just pay full-price and it'd be a glorious meal and moment for me!!!!!! When I walked in to Red Robin and sat at the bar, I asked the nice lady behind the counter if she could check the balance of my newly discovered Red Robin gift cards!!!! Her response: "Wow, these are really old!!!" I guess the design on them hadn't been seen in quite some time!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! When she ran them through the computer she informed me that both of them had $25 on them!!!! $50 worth of food at Red Robin?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Oh yes indeed!!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I was so so starving when I walked into Red Robin that afternoon for lunch!!!! The ketosis in my body was evident as my breath smelled weird and I could feel the fat from my gut being cleaved to provide energy to my weary calorie deficient body!!!!!!!

So in wanting to walk the talk as well as living out my faith when it comes to my life motto of "Outeat Your Opponent", I ordered 5, count em' five burgers from Red Robin that afternoon!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! And that included the bottomless fries that comes with them!!!!!!!!!

When I placed my order, the woman taking my order asked me if I was getting this to-go, to take back to people in my office?!?!?!?! Uhhhhhhhh, nope!!!! These are all for me and I will be enjoying them here at the bar!!!! She paused and asked, "are you serious?!?!" Hey, I am serious as the heart attack I'll probably have after eating five burgers in a row!!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! "Do you want them all at once or do you want me to bring them to you one after another?!" she asked!!!!! "One after another!" I told her! This was going to be so awesome!!!!!!! I love eating and I love food!!!!!!! More than anything!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

In ordering, I wanted a good variety and range of the burgers that Red Robin has to offer so I decided on the Prime Chophouse Burger, The Sauteed Shroom Burger, The Burnin' Love Burger, the Guacamole Bacon Burger, and the Blue Ribbon Burger!!!!!!

Let me just say right off the bat, that a corporate burger restaurant has no business being this good!!!!!! Jesus God Red Robin burgers are tasty!!!!! The quality of meat is fantastic, the seasoning they use for the beef is world class, the toppings are fresh, and the combinations of veggies and sauces they use for their burgers are dreamlike!!!!!!!!! Make no mistake that this is highly addictive food that I dream of all throughout the day and week!!!!!! As I'm lying in bed at night, I don't think about making love to my wife or what I can do to salvage our deteriorating marriage, but rather I think of how soon I can get back to Red Robin and what burger(s) I'm going to devour once I get there!!!!!! Do I have a problem?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Do I?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! 

OK, so the first burger was the Prime Chophouse Burger!!! This was probably my favorite of the five burgs I had!!!! The Prime Chophouse had on it horseradish, mushrooms, onion strings, provolone, and a dijon sauce!!!! This burger was so flavorful and juicy!!!!! Horseradish sauce on a burger is genius!!!!! I had never had that before, but absolutely loved it and will now make horseradish as a staple topping for every single burger I eat from here on out!!!!!!!!! Wow this was a good burger!!!
Next was the Sauteed Shroom  Burger!!!!!! I too loved this burger!!!! I absolutely love mushrooms on everything!!! Be it burgers, pizza, quesadillas, you name it and I love mounds and mounds of sauteed mushrooms on whatever it is!!!!!! And these particular shrooms on the Sauteed Shroom Burger combined with Swiss cheese and chipotle mayo that comes on it was filled with so much tastiness and so much goodness, that the Catholics could probably substitute this burger in place of their holy water!!!!!!!! If I was a priest not only would I bless holy water, but I would bless this burger and implement it into baptism and whatever else holy water is used for!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Thirdly they brought out the Burnin' Love Burger!!!!!! I love spicy food!!!!! This burger came with jalepeno's, salsa, pepperjack cheese, lettuce, tomato, and chipotle mayo!!!!!! Again, the flavor combinations on this burger were phenomonal!!!!! It tasted so good going down, but later that night, my ass was on fiiiiiyyyyyaaaaaahhhhhh, if you know what I mean!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! 
Fourth, they brought out the Guacamole Bacon Burger!!! This is a decent burger!!!! I mean, it's a good burger, and I have no real complaints about it, but it was the one I felt least enthusiastic about. But if you like Guacamole Bacon Burgers, then you will enjoy this burg!!!!!!! 
Lastly, I had the Blue-Ribbon Burger!!!!! I really loved this grilled beef sandwich creation!!!!! I love Blue-Cheese dressing, and to put it on a burger is nothing short of Stephen Hawking genius!!!!! It had on it blue-cheese, onion strings, lettuce, tomato, and chipotle mayo!!!!!! Beautiful, just beautiful I say!!!!!! I was so emotionally moved by the flavor of these burgers, that I'm not ashamed to admit that tears were welling up in my eyes with each bite I took!!!!!! I'm not ashamed to admit that!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

With each of the burgers they came with bottomless steak fries!!!!!!! I don't even know how many baskets of fries I had that day, but let's just say it was a lot!!!!!! I can honestly say that I had more starch in my belly that day than a high end business man has in his laundry room!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! 

When my food was gone, the nice lady brought me over my bill, but I told her I wanted to order dessert!!!! "Are you serious?!?!" she asked!!!!! "Yes!" I replied!!!! I needed something sweet to balance out all the saltiness and spiciness!!!!! So, I went for a monster sized Cookie Magic milkshake which is basically a chocolate milkshake with Oreo crumbles and a few rainbow sprinkles!!!!! Being that it was monster sized it came with a refill in that silver tin shake can!!! This was a fabulous fabulous shake!!!! Really rich, creamy, and sweet!!!! I would definitely order this shake again!!!! Soooooooooo good!!!!!!!!

OK look! I'm not going to lie!! I ate all of that Red Robin food at around 11:30am and I didn't eat anything for the rest of the day, and even skipped breakfast the next morning!!!!! I was really full and felt pretty sick afterwards because there was just so much food in my stomach!!!!!! But was it worth it?!?!?!?!?!?! YES!!!!!!!!! Plus I slept well that night knowing that I had fulfilled my life's vison and purpose for the day by outeating all of my opponents!!!!! I know there are people out there who can eat way more than me, but I slept well knowing that I had probably eaten the most in one sitting for the year at Red Robin, maybe ever!!!!!!! Wouldn't that be an honor?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

If you want a good burger, then look no further than Red Robin!!!!!!!! Absolutely outstanding and flavorful burgers!!!!!!! Plus you can't beat the fact that they have bottomless fries which are really good when you put the Red Robin seasoning on them!!!!!!!!!! Outeat your opponents when you come here, and you will feel so much peace and goodness in your heart!!!!! But just make sure that you don't outeat me!!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Do this place and do it hard!!!!!!!!!

Which Wich: Life is Incomplete Without It!!!!!

I like Subway!! I like Quizno's!!! Jersey Mike's is overrated!! Schlotsky's is good but there aren't many of them around!!!! Togo's is OK!!! But I have eaten just about every sandwich on each of their menu's and I gotta be honest, when lunchtime has been coming around lately, it's been tougher and tougher for me to get excited and passionate to hit up the go-to fast-food sandwich places and stuff my face to no end!!! Though the aforementioned fast food sandwich places are good, I'm just getting burnt out on them!!! No disrespect to you guys!!!! Mad love!!!!!! But lately I've been feeling as though I've needed a change!!! So, when I was driving down Chapman Ave. the other day and saw that there is now a Which Wich in Orange County, my heart started to pound uncontrollably and I had to do a double take as though I had just seen a maimed martian body lying in the desert sand outside of Roswell, New Mexico!!!! What is this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? A new fast food sandwich place for me to master and decimate on a daily basis?!?!?!?!?!?! In the words of a liquored up Hank Williams, Jr. on Fox News, "Ohhwwwwwwwwww Yeaaaaaahhhh!!!!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I had heard of the legend of Which Wich before but knew they were primarily operating in the South and Midwest!!!! But now they're apparently expanding their operations to California and I've got one of them in my backyard!!!!!! I am elated by this and more excited about having Which Wich around then when I watch the US women's Olympic water polo team!!!! And that excitement I feel for our women's team doesn't have anything to do with national pride if you know what I mean!!!! Look, I'm not trying to be racy or inappropriate, but watching those women swim around in those tight one piece Speedo swimsuits along with those broad muscular swimmers shoulders they all have, is hotter than Hell!!!!! I've never watched water polo in my life, but whenever our women's national team, or any of the women's Olympic teams for that matter, comes on to my TV to compete, I feel like Fred Willard sitting in a movie theater in Hollywood!!!! Hey, wha happened?!?!?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! I love you Fred!!!! No disrespect to the female Olympians!!!! You all make your respected countries proud!!!!
OK, so when I pulled up to Which Wich, walked through the doors, and began looking over their menu, everything seemed so new and fresh!!!!! Which Wich has a very unique system for placing orders!!!! They have sandwich bags and sharpies sitting just below their menu, and on the sandwich bag is their menu along with all of the different toppings, sauces, cheeses and bread options available!!!! You simply fill out your order on the bag with the sharpie and then hand it to the nice woman at the counter and then, BOOM!!!!! A few minutes later your sandwich comes out to you just as you ordered it!!!!!!
Being that I was overwhelmed and wanted to experience the living hell out of Which Wich, I decided to get two sandwiches!!!!!!!! I decided on a Buffalo Chicken Sandwich and a Wicked Sandwich which comes with turkey, ham, roast beef, bacon, and pepperoni along with three different types of cheese!!!! This sucker was massive!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
The first sandwich I tackled was the Buffalo Chicken!!!! This was a fantastic tasting sandwich!!!! The chicken along with the buffalo sauce combined with the freshness of the bread, cheese and veggies in fact made this a superior sandwich!!!! The buffalo sauce and mayo would squirt out the back of my bread with each bite I took and I constantly had to keep all of the toppings in check!!!! Such a good sandwich!!!!! But the Buffalo Chicken wasn't enough for me!!!!!! I was still hungry and wanted more!!!!!! More I say!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Next I went for the Wicked!!!! Like I said, this is a massive ass sandwich!!!!!! Lots of meat, lots of cheese!!!! Again, this was a truly spectacular food concoction between two pieces of bread!!!!!! Outstanding flavors and quality fresh toppings!!!!!! After I drove that last bite of Wicked down my throat, my hunger was quenched and I began to experience an inner peace and contentment in my soul that nothing else in this world can bring!!! I truly believe that the human experience is incomplete if you fail to consume sandwhiches at Which Wich!!!! Which Wich is exactly what the doctor ordered for me regarding my apathetic sandwich attitude lately!!!! Just to reiterate, the places that I have been going to aren't bad, it's just that I needed something different!!!! And Which Wich completely and utterly delivered that for me!!!!! Oh, and their chocolate milkshakes!!!! Good God that thing was tasty!!!!!! Perhaps the finest fast-food shake I have ever had!!!!! And believe me I am aware of how many fast-food places such as Jack in the Box, Chick-Fil-A, Del Taco, Carls Jr., and In-N-Out use real ice-cream and have revamped the quality of their shakes!!!!! But the shakes at Which Wich are stellar!!!!! Maybe the best I've ever had!!!!! Not even joking!!!! Not even joking!!!!!!
Hey Which Wich, in the words of Dido, I just want to thank you!!! I want to thank you for coming to Southern California and bringing your sandwich and milkshake goodness to this fair state of ours!!!! Your food is nothing short of magnificent and there is absolutely room for you to be here and compete with the other sandwich shops in town!!!!!!! I'm not going to lie either... I'm pulling for you Which Wich!!!!!! I am pulling for you!!!!!! I want you to win and drive some of these places out of town!!!! They've been here forever and on behalf of sandwich conniseurs in Orange County... We welcome you and wish you nothing but success and prosperity!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! If you drive by a Which Wich, then you owe it to yourself to grab one of their sharpies and order one or two or three of their sando's for lunch!!!!!!!!!!! Do it!!!!! You won't regret it!!!!!! Eat at this place and eat hard!!!! Live your life!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Chili's Grill and Bar: Friday Night They'll be Dressed to Kill, Down at Chili's Grill & Bar... Hey Wait! That Doesn't Rhyme!!! Ahahahahahahaha!!!!

I believe it was Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers franchise who very brilliantly and eloquently spoke these beautiful thoughtful words which comprise one of the most emotionally moving sayings in the history of the English Language!!!! And that includes Anglo Saxon!!!! These words I speak of?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Get ready for them, because here they come!!!!!!.... "I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back. I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back...." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Chili's baby!!!!!! When it comes to restaurants I like to eat at and review for this blog, I like to go with the non-corporate, neighborhood places!!!!! Sometimes I go corporate or fast food, but not usually!!!!! Recently however, somebody gave my wife a gift card to Chili's as a "Thank You" for her work as a teacher, so it seemed as though fate was speaking to us and pointing us towards the fine corporate eatery known as Chili's Grill & Bar!!!!!!!! And not to give too much of my findings away about my experience at Chili's but, Fate, I love you and thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!!!!! At least this time I thank you!!!!!!! Sometimes we have a rough go of things and I consider you to be my bitch lover!!!!!! But this time, Fate, you were good to me!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Anywho, my wife hates Chili's so in a rare form of generosity on her part, she handed me her Chili's gift card along with two words, "have fun!" Huuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! I love my wife!!!! Just as long as she doesn't divorce me, which she probably will!!!!!!! So, a Sunday or two ago, the Mrs. wasn't home and I was totally bored and it was so g-damn hot out!!!! With that, I looked into my wallet, saw the Chili's card and thought to myself, "Well, I've got my Sunday planned!!!!!!" YESSSSS!!!!!!

In my early twenties, when I was right out of college, me and a couple of buddies would meet at Chili's Grill & Bar about once a week to drink beer and watch sports!!!! I always remembered the food being tasty and the memories positive, but it had been quite awhile since I had walked through the doors of a Chili's Grill & Bar!!!!!!! One of the habits that I have formed as I've gotten a little older is that when I get bored, I drink!!!!! Day drinking is actually pretty fun!!!! I used to force myself to wait until dinner time to begin imbibing!!! But when in a really bad marriage and bored off your ass on a weekend day, getting sloppy and overeating is a perfect way to spend a day and cope with the difficulties of life!!!!! That's truth!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

When I walked in to Chili's I took a seat at the bar and unfolded the menu sitting on the counter top!!!! One of the first things you'll notice when you walk in to the bar is that Chili's prides themselves on their margarita's!!!!! I'm more of a beer and wine guy, but hey, I can do an ice-cold margarita on a hot and humid day!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! So when the bartender approached me and asked me if I wanted a margarita, my response: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Needless to say, I started off my time at Chili's with a margarita!!! Like I said, I'm not a huge margarita drinker, but this margarita was ice-cold, full of flavor and wasted no time in getting me where I wanted to be that afternoon!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! After I had gotten the juices flowing so to speak with my margarita, I saw that they had Samuel Adams Summer Ale of tap!!!!! There is quite possibly no better beer to drink in the midst of 90 degrees and humidity in the middle of July than a Samuel Adams Summer Ale!!!!! So crisp, refreshing, and thirst quenching they could serve that malted hops beverage to guys who are in the middle of running the Boston Marathon and likely get exactly zero complaints!!!!!!! I'd absolutely bet on that!!!!! By the time I had polished off my margarita and two pints of Samuel, I was a little drowsy, if you know what I mean!!!! It was time soak up that alcohol with some snacks and satisfy the hunger the booze was bringing about!!!! One of the great things about the happy hour at Chili's is that they give you free chips and salsa!!!!! And, these are good chips and salsa and they come in a huge basket!!!!! The chips are fresh, crunchy, and oily while the salsa is of a high quality!!!!!!! I had them bring me out a plate of chips and salsa and they were nothing short of brilliant and life altering!!!!

As my appetite increased even more after eating the chips and salsa, I looked into the eyes of the bartender and ordered a Mushroom-Swiss Burger as well as a Shiner Bock Barbecue Burger!!! As I was ordering, the bartender began setting two places for food as though I was ordering for somebody meeting me at the bar later, but no!!!!! I had him remove the extra set of silver ware and napkins and communicated to him that both of these burgers will be for a party of one!!!!! Upon hearing that both burgers were for me, he slowly nodded his head and said, “OK. That’s impressive.”  And then a few minutes later... out they came!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

First, I tackled the Mushroom-Swiss Burger!!!! This was a very good burger!!! The combination of the juicy beef with the Swiss cheese and sautéed shitake mushrooms was mind blowing!!!!! Remember that Maxell tape add in the 80’s when the guy is sitting in his living room chair listening to music off of a Maxell tape and his shades are on and his hair is blowing back?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! That was me eating this burger!!!!! I was blown away!!!! It was so flavorful and impressive!!!!!! A beautiful beautiful burger!!!! Next, I went for the Shiner Bock Barbeque burger!!!! This too was an amazing burger!!!!! It had on it cheddar cheese, onion strings, and savory sweet Shiner Bock BBQ!!!! Also, there is something about eating food associated with Texas themed beer in horrid humidity that adds to this eating experience!!!! Again, wonderfully seasoned beef and flavor combinations on the Shiner Bock Barbecue Burger that make for a truly delightful eating moment!!!! Also, the fries at Chili’s are wonderful!!!! I love their fries!!!!! Whatever seasoning they sprinkle on to them makes for one of the best fried potato experiences in the history of corporate restaurant America!!!!! You can print that in the papers!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! After all the saltiness of my meal, I needed something sweet!!!! I looked at the back part of the menu and saw that they had chocolate milkshakes for $3.99!!!! It seemed like a perfect way to cap off my time at Chili’s!!!! However, I’ve gotta say that the chocolate milkshakes at Chili’s are wildly disappointing. The shake lacked a strong chocolaty flavor and was overly runny, like I was drinking a bland glass of chocolate milk. Honestly, I could’ve made a better chocolate shake at home, and for much cheaper. In the future, I will skip the chocolate shake from Chili’s. But other than that, Chili’s Bar & Grill was fantastic!!!!! I would wholeheartedly recommend Chili’s for their burgers, fries, margaritas, and happy hour!!!!!! Do this place and eat hard!!!!!! I love Chili’s and will be back very soon!!!! No doubt!!!!!!! Do it!!!!!!  

Chunk-n-Chip: Manna From Heaven!!!!!

I'm starting to pick up a little bit of momentum and confidence when it comes to food trucks!!! I've been visiting many of them for some months now, but have only just been getting small samples of what they have to offer and haven't had many serious meals from them!!!! However, not long ago I came across the Chunk-n-Chip ice-cream sandwich truck, by accident believe it or not, at a food truck gathering here in Orange County and almost instantaneously fell in love!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Chunk-n-Chip specializes in homemade ice-cream sandwiches and hands down they are some of the sweetest, most delectable, flavorful creations of baked sweet sugary goodness that exists in this fair country of ours!!!!!! This truck reminds me of Diddy Riese in Westwood, and though Diddy Riese is amazing and I would absolutely never ever ever ever ever disparage those fine desert concoctions that the UCLA student body and faculty frequents and is no doubt a Los Angeles institution, Chunk-n-Chip I would say is a bit more creative and edgy with their ice-cream sandwiches!!!! Chunk-n-Chip has many distinct cookie creations as well as unique ice-cream flavors and when you put the two of them together, forget it!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Has anybody seen that movie Stripes with Bill Murray and Harold Ramis?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! "Lee Harvey.... You are a madman!!!!.... That time that you made it with the cow?!?!?! The two of us together, forget it!!!!!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Anyway, the other day with my belly filled with the salty, fatty, greasy bar food goodness that one sucks down while tipping multiple pints of Samuel Adams Summer Ale on a hot muggy summer afternoon, I began craving something savory and sweet!!!!! With the knowledge via Twitter that Chunk-n-Chip would be down in the Orange County area from Los Angeles, I just couldn't pass this opportunity up to have one of their sando's!!!!! I mean, I couldn't pass the opportunity up to have Chunk-n-Chip anymore than Rahcel Uechetel could pass up on the opportunity of wrecking Tiger Woods' marriage and then extorting many millions of dollars out of him to stay silent and not reveal any of the juicy details of their love affair!!!!!! How'd that one work out for you, Tiger?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I know I know... Home wreckers are bad!!!!!
The Chunk-n-Chip ice cream truck I saw was going to be at Beckman High School in Irvine, and though I had to drive a little ways, it wasn't too far for me to make my way down there!!! The day I was at Beckman HS getting ready to pulverize Chunk-n-Chip sandwiches like Mike Tyson did to Robin Givens, it was hot and humid and drops of sweat were sliding to the edge of my nose and dripping to the ground with each step I took!!! My shirt was soaked with moisture and it felt like I was riding on a riverboat casino across the Delta in Tunica, Mississippi!!!!! I mean, damn it was hot and muggy!!!! And to shove down multiple freezing cold ice-cream sandwiches to bring my core temperature to a reasonable level sounded magnificent and refreshing!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
So, when I walked up to the Chunk-n-Chip truck I ordered a chocolate chip cookie sandwich with rocky road ice-cream, as well as a chocolate brownie cookie sandwich with a white chocolate ice-cream in the middle!!!! At Chunk-n-Chip, they refer to their sandwiches as "Boo-Yah's!" At first I though it was kind of funny that Chunk-n-Chip names their dessert products after a tacky hip-hop saying from the early 90's... but whatever! To each their own!!! After trying a "Boo-Yah" I'm kind of used to the name and have warmed up to the notion of calling Chunk-n-Chip sandwiches "Boo-Yah's!" Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Mad love Chunk-n-Chip!!! First off, the chocolate chip cookie sandwich! The cookies were absolutely divine!!! Like, it was manna from heaven that Moses had called down from above after leading the Israelites through the wilderness when they were starving and out of food!!!! These cookies were so warm and gooey, and with that rocky road, it made for one of the most delicious ice-cream sandwiches, ever!!!!!!!! No lie!!!!!!! There were chocolate stains all over my face and hands from the warm melted chocolate chips, and constantly I had to lick my fingers and wipe my face with each bite I took!!!!!!!! It was amazing!!!!!! Next I moved on to the brownie cookie with white chocolate ice-cream!!!! Again, this cookie was simply stunning to taste when it entered my mouth!!! It was so sweet and delicious and combined with a certain chunkiness of the white chocolate ice-cream I would've been open to kneeling down to and offering human sacrifices to the Chunk-n-Chip truck had I not known any better or if this world we live in were completely uncivilized, free from Spanish Catholic influence!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Afterwards, when my Chunk-n-Chip sando's were completely consumed, my sweet tooth was satisfied to the fullest extent possible!!!!! Also, when I payed for my sandwiches, the lovely young lady taking orders asked me for my phone number, but I think it was because she needed it for my credit card transaction!!!! Either way, it made me feel like a stud, and made my trip to Chunk-n-Chip even more memorable!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Anytime you see the Chunk-n-Chip truck, you owe it to yourself to get over to them and pound their lovely dessert sando's to no end!!!!!! Do it!!!!!! You will be filled with the presence of God!!!!!!! I love you Chunk-n-Chip!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!