Thursday, November 10, 2011

Beach Break Cafe: A Whole New World!!!!

Who would've thought that just south of Orange County, past Camp Pendelton, there is a whole new world!!! Yes, just like Ariel emerges from the Ocean to discover an earthy existence, so to was my feeling upon leaving Orange County and entering into the northern most habitation of San Diego County known as Oceanside... I just gotta say, I love Oceanside!!! Yeah, maybe it's kind of a slummy military beach town where hookers used to line Pacific Coast Highway waiting for young marines fresh from boot camp to come with their bonuses and enough pent up sexual energy to extinguish a small brush fire. But hey, it's a town filled with character and heart and you've gotta love that about this place!! And on the eve of Veterans Day, I say, God Bless our troops!!! Anyway, Oceanside is a bit slummy and trashy, but it's a city I love and I wouldn't change a thing about!!! You get a feel that over the past 40-50 years, much of the cities history, buildings, and architecture has been preserved! You get a feel for what life was like in Oceanside long before you were born!!! And the Top Gun house is here!!! You know, the house where Kelly McGillis' character lived!!! Maverick, you're a sly son of a bitch!!!! Ahahahahahahaha!!!! But I love that about Oceanside!!!!!!
As I was tooling around Oceanside, I came across Beach Break Cafe on PCH and decided I was going to hit it hard for breakfast!! To be up front and honest with everybody (all 3 of you who will probably read this!! Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!) I'm not a huge breakfast guy!! I mean I like breakfast foods, but my usual MO is to skip breakfast, deprive myself of a lot of calories to build up my hunger so that I can experience the pure bliss of filling up my deprived stomach with flavorful and fatty foods while on the brink of starvation!!!! And usually that type of hunger doesn't happen in the morning for me, that is unless it's after a long night of boozing!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
But anyway, I came to Beach Break knowing that it was highly regarded and one of the most popular breakfast spots in all of San Diego County!!! My first impression of this place was that, like Oceanside, it had character and heart!!! Not a corporate restaurant, but a thriving ma and pa type of place with a beach city feel and down to earth clientele and staff!!!! I took a seat at the counter, unfolded a menu, and was shortly thereafter approached by a stunningly beautiful young woman!! When she asked me if I wanted something to drink, I became flustered and had difficulty thinking straight!!! She wasn't wearing a lot of make-up, she wasn't wearing anything professional or super fancy, but she just had this down to earth, quality girl type of look! Jeans, tank top, tan skin, piercing green eyes, and a very lovely and friendly smile!!! Something I never see in this vain s-hole I live in called Orange County!!!! But I can't complain!!! There are worse places in the world to be!!! ORANGE COUNTY YOU ARE MY BITCH LOVER!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
OK, so I digress. On to the food! I ordered the Santa Fe Omelet with hash browns, pancakes, and coffee cake!!! Flat out, this food made me rapturous!!! As I stuck my fork into my Santa Fe Omelet, cutting through the egg, cheese, chorizo, onion, avocado, and sour cream, I thought for a moment Harold Camping might have been on to something, as for a second it felt like I was being raptured up into the heavens to meet with Jesus!!!! It made me feel that joyful!! Wow this food is tasty and I swear to God I thought it was going to send me into the spiritual realm!!!! But I'm still here!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Also, the pancakes were angelic!!! So soft, so buttery, so syrupy, they made me long for the day when I would be reunited with my friends and loved ones who have prematurely passed from this life!!!! I love you guys!!!!! I'm coming soon!!!!! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahahahaha!!!! .... Ok, I think I'm fine now... At the end of my meal, they brought out a piece of coffee cake for me to cap off my breakfast! I had been reading that the coffee cake here is excellent, and excellent it was!!! Again, I'm not a huge coffee cake guy, but one of the amazing things I discovered about Beach Break coffee cake, is that when you eat their coffee cake while drinking a cup of coffee, it's really really good!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! What can I say, I'm a little behind the current trends!!!!!
The combination of everything at Beach Break Cafe made for an overall splendid morning and got me off to an absolutely fantastic start of the day!!!! Excellent food, warm atmosphere, and beautiful waitresses!!! And I'm not talking about dolled up, breast augmented, superficial, morally loose, plastic woman in Orange County that make up the vast majority of the female Orange County population!!! Not like a Hooters waitress!! But I'm talking about quality women!!! Women who aren't obsessed with how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, whether or not you're a home owner, or what your social status may be! I'm talking about women who care for you because of who you are and all that other stuff doesn't matter!!! These waitresses are those kind of girls!!! How do I know that?!?! Well, I don't know for sure!!! But I felt a connection with my waitress!!! If you're out there, do you remember me Beach Break Waitress?!?! Do you remember me?!?!?!?! I know you felt the connection I felt!!! I know you did!!!! If you read this, send me a message!!!!! We can make it!!!!! I'll come for you!!!!
Oceanside is a wonderful town filled with character!!!! I am now inspired to frequent Oceanside to sample the many ma and pa eateries that exist in this wonderful city!! Screw you corporate restaurants!!!! I'm supporting the working man!!!! (Actually, I'll still eat at your restaurants. I have low self-control and discipline! Ahahahahahahahaha!!) And, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping to bump in to Beach Break Waitress again while down there!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! I know I know, I'm a creeper!!! When in Oceanside, do this place!!! I swear you won't regret it!!!!!

Beach Break Cafe on Urbanspoon

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