Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Claim Jumper: The Meaning of Life!!!!!

The other day I came here because there was a radio show promotion going on for Monday Night Football where they were giving out prizes, pouring booze, and having a festive time!!! Being that I was bored off of my ass, I said to myself, “Oh what the hell!” and  decided to head down to the Claim Jumper in Fountain Valley to see if I could win some free stuff, watch a little football, and oh yeah, get my drink on like no other!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! When I got there and sat down at the bar, I didn’t have any idea what to expect or what to order for that matter!!  The bartender shared with me they were having happy hour for the entire game!!! Upon looking over the menu they had some fantastic deals for happy hour!!! $3 for a pint of the Claim Jumper brewed beer, $3 for Irish Nachos, $3 for beef sliders, $7 for a widow maker burger!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! What a pleasant surprise!!! I started off my time at Claim Jumper that day ordering many pints of the Claim Jumper Original Red Ale!!! For $3 a pint, it was not half bad!!! In fact, it was quite good tasting and very refreshing!!! After I had chugged down pint #2 that alcohol started telling my brain, “OK, it’s time to eat like a Muslim after the sun has set during Ramadan!” Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I called the bartender over and pointed towards those Irish Nachos and Beef Sliders on the menu and then waited with great expectancy while continuing to nurse the beautiful buzz the Red Ale brought about!! After a few minutes, my food was brought out and placed in front of me!!! As I looked down at my plate of fried potatoes with melted cheese topped with bacon bits along with those sliders, I then looked up at my server with a look on my face which expressed  extreme glee that asked the question, “is that for me?!?!” I mean I felt like a five year old who had just won a free 30 minute shopping spree to Toys-R-Us!!!! It was like receiving the greatest  gift know to humankind!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
But before we go any further, I want you to do me a favor!!! I want you to just stop, and scroll down to the bottom of this review and take a look at the pictures from Claim Jumper!!! I want you to look at the 3rd one down!!!  Go ahead, scroll down and take a look!!! ... I wanted you to look at that picture, because after spending happy hour the other day at Claim Jumper, I now have that exact same picture as the screen saver on my cell phone!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Screw having pictures of your wife in your wallet!! Screw having group photos of good times with your friends on your work desk!!!! It’s all about having the most pleasure filled and comfort giving eating moments of your life preserved through the magic of photography to have with you wherever you go!!! Every single time I look at that photo on my cell phone of those thin stringed Claim Jumper fries covered in melted cheese with bacon and dipped in ketchup and ranch, simply put, my heart comes to life!!!!! If I’m ever feeling stressed out or if I’m having a bad day at work, I simply just pause, turn to that beloved digital photo of Claim Jumper Irish Nachos, and all of my problems simply vanish!!! I just close my eyes and find that moment on that one Monday afternoon when I was nursing a beautiful Claim Jumper Original Red Ale buzz, while licking the cheese, grease and ketchup off of my salt covered fingers. And let us not forget that the beef sliders were excellent too!!! I asked the bartender for more ketchup and saturated that beef with ketchup like a leg of chicken is saturated with batter before it's dropted into the fryer!!! The beef was  of a high quality, well seasoned and delicious!!! It tasted like what a burger might taste like if you were out jumping claims during the California gold rush!!!!! Let’s just say, the flavors of the meat, worked!! And... I had the happy hour street fish tacos!!!!!! These fish tacos, seriously, are the best I've ever had!!!!!!!!!! Better than Chronic, better than Pedro's, better than Rubio's, better than Baja!!!!!! Not even joking!!!!! Not even effing joking!!!!!!! These fish tacos from Claim Jumper are the best..... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
It was indeed a significant thing when families in the 19th century discovered gold in California!!! But I say this!!! This place is a more significant creation than any discovery of any mine of gold could ever be.... EVER!!!!! Claim Jumper has excellent food, outstanding beer, and good prices for happy hour!!!! Those three things are what life is about and this place captures them brilliantly!!!!!! Just brilliantly I say!!!!!! Through this food and beer, you will discover your life’s purpose!!!!! Rick Warren's book is flawed!!! Though it's a fine piece of Christian inspiration, it's short three chapters of life's purpose: beer, food, and happy hour!!!!! Mr. Warren never touches on these three topics, thus he fails to communicate to his readers what a purpose driven life really consists of!!!! Sorry Dude!!!! Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Make a decision to come here and  commit to that decision right now!!!!!! Your life will be filled with riches if you do!!!!! Do it!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

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