Friday, September 30, 2011

Brea's Best Burgers: Oh, You're Good!!!!

This is how it usually works for me... When I eat somewhere, I order a shameful amount of food, take it back to my place, go to my room and shut the door so nobody will watch me consume the ridiculous amount of calories I stuff into my empty belly!!!! I mean, I'm ashamed of what my mom would say or think if she saw me ordering the amount of food I do and then watching me gain a ridiculous amount of pleasure and satisfaction pushing every last bite of food into my swollen, gum irritated mouth!!!!! Do you still love me, Mom?!?!??!?!?!?! Am I still your son?!?!?!?!?!?! Don't judge me!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
When I walked into Brea's Best Burger my plan was to push the limits of my food intake for the day!!! I mean, I was going to go where I had never ever been before!!!!! I was planning on ordering and eating so much at Brea's Best Burgers that I actually started to get a little worried about how my kidney's and colon would hold up processing and handling that much food!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! This is what I did!! I ordered two bacon avocado cheeseburger, two regular cheeseburgers, a large order of fries and a large order of onion rings!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Huuuuuuyyyeeeaaahhhhh!!!!! Being that Brea is kind of far from where I live, I wasn't going to have time to isolate myself in my room with my shame eating for the day!!!! So, I was going to have to eat this food in public for all to see!!!! When I ordered my food I'm sure the girl behind the counter thought I was ordering for four people, so that was no big deal in terms of feeling self conscious! But what really worried me was the thought of sitting down in the dining room and having to deal with all of the glares and comments from diners who would witness my massive food intake at that moment!!!! I found a booth in the back corner, put on my hood and sunglasses and stared at the ground so as to not draw attention to myself!!!! When they called my number I got my trays of food and brought them back to my table!!! "Maybe the people he's eating with are outside or in the bathroom" some might've thought with all that food in front of one person!!! But it was all for me!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! When I looked around the dining room, I saw something very comforing... Beautiful really!!! I saw the other diners at Brea's Best stuffing their faces with unreasonable amounts of food too!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! I mean there was this one guy who was working on like 3 club sandwiches and was absolutely pounding them!!!!! Another guy in the booth in front of me had like a burger and two orders of onion rings!!!!!! As I began looking around, I realized I was now in the company of friends!!! I was in the company of like minded people who love to eat their fill of fried fatty food!!!!! I discovered Brea's Best Burgers is a safe place!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! With that, I lowered my hood, took off my sunglasses and began making eye-contact with all of the diners there!!! I even exchanged greetings with one guy!!! I don't care what people think of my eating habits!!!! I don't care!!!!! If you look at me funny because you think I eat too much, then that's your problem, not mine!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
OK, let me comment on these burgers!!! Two words came to my mind while chewing on my ketchup soaked meat cake: Damn Good!!!! I mean that's all that came to mind!! Damn Good!!!!! The flavor, juiciness, and quality of these burgers was completely awesome!!!! This is the kind of burger that you can just keep eating and eating and eating and you never seem to get full because it's so damn flavorful and you don't want the eating moment to end!!!! That's Brea's Best Burgers!!!!! It's like your stomach is telling you it's full but your mind tells you, "just keep going!!!! Don't stop!!!!!" Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Brea's Best, you're good!!! In the words of my main man Billy Joel, "Don't gooooo changing!!!!" Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Brea's Best, I love you just the way you are!!!!!!!

Brea's Best Burgers on Urbanspoon

No comments:

Post a Comment