Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Diablo Burger: El Diablo!!! Dios Mio!!! El Diablo!!!!!

I was driving along I-40E, enjoying the picturesque scenery as I headed to Amarillo!!! Don't ask me why I was going to Amarillo! I have some family out that way who I had not seen in quite some time and I needed to touch base with them for reasons I won't bore you with!! Anyway, the drive on I-40E isn't really picturesque!!! I was being sarcastic!!!!!!! I know, a real stretch for me!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I woke up incredibly early to get as much driving in as I possibly could!!! After driving through Barstow, Needles, and Kingman, AZ, I couldn't help but just meditate and ponder as to what on God's earth would cause or motivate any human being who habitates this planet to live in any of the above mentioned cities?!?!?!?!?! I mean, if you lived in Needles, wouldn't you do everything in your God given powers and abilities to get the hell out of there?!?!?!?! The same can be said of Kingman!! Who lives in these places?!?!? Or a more important question is, Why?!?! I don't get it!!! Some people would say, "Well, it's home." OK, but.... well...nevermind!! I'm not going to try to understand these cities or the people who live in them!! Some people totally baffle me!!! To each their own I guess!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Upon waking up really early to drive to Amarillo and driving on 1-40E for about 7 hours, I arrived in Flagstaff right at about lunchtime!!!!! After driving for many hours straight and peering at nothing but barren desert wasteland, I was thoroughly depressed and needed to be cheered up badly!!! And what better way to cheer yourself up than emptying a truckload of food down your throat?!?!?!?! Flagstaff couldn't have been a more welcome sight!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! When I pulled in to Flagstaff, I was struck by the beauty and character of the city!!!! There were many old red brick buildings, fine looking downtown eateries, and a major university sprawling with energetic students in their late teens to early twenties!!!!! There was a big mountain with a snow capped top, pine trees, and snow all over the ground!!! Flagstaff is beautiful!!! Oh, and let us not forget, let us not forget.... that Flagstaff is incredibly crunchy!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! C'mon what do you expect?!?!?!?!?! It's a charming mountain town with a major university in it!!!! There's a  very intellectually progressive, doobie smoking feel to Flagstaff!!!! Some would say that Flagstaff is known for being like the Berkeley of Arizona!!! I would agree with that assessment!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! With that said, I pulled into the historic downtown area, made a left on Leroux St., parked my car and began looking for someplace to appease my depleted stomach after many hours of driving!!!! After walking around for a few minutes, I stumbled across this place called Diablo Burger!!! Actually, I had heard of Diablo Burger before and knew it had a sound reputation and much talked about burger!!!! But I wasn't exactly looking for it and did stumble across it!!! Upon seeing the entrance I said to myself, "OK, let's do this!!!" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
When I walked in the door, I noticed that the inside of Diablo Burger is pretty small!!! They have only like three or four tables, but they're commune style, so people you don't know will just walk up to your table and sit down and eat with you!! Being that we were in a crunchy mountain town, I decided that the whole sharing and communism thing with the tables in Diablo Burger was cool!! These real earthy dudes, sat down at my table... it was chill!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
When I walked up to the counter to look over the menu and place my order, I asked the cashier what burger Diablo Burger was primarily known for. He replied to me and said, "There isn't necessarily a specific burger we're known for. We're more known for our beef." You know, as he said that to me, my mind immediately went to the gutter and I thought to myself, "Gosh, when it comes to the women in the Southern California area, I wish that's what I was known for..." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! OK OK, that's totally crude and I apologize! But I just couldn't resist!!! After looking at the menu, I went for The Cheech: guacamole, pepper-jack cheese, and jalapenos!!! I was super thirsty and didn't want to drink beer because I still had some driving ahead of me, so I just went for water. What's cool about the water here is that they bring it to you in this fancy looking wine-bottle type vessel!!! The water was very cold and clean tasting!! A very nice touch being up in the mountains and surrounded by the San Francisco Peaks, which is where this water probably came from!!!! After awhile, they brought out my Cheech placed on top of a stack of rosemary seasoned fries in a basket!!! I noticed that instead of traditional hamburger buns, Diablo Burger serves all of their burgers on a Thomas English Muffin and they brand their logo "DB" on the top part of the bread!!! It looks pretty cool!!!! Also, they told me that all of their burgers are served medium rare and are a little pink in the middle!! Fine with me!!! Bloody food is good food as far as I'm concerned!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I took off the top of my burger and squirted a healthy dose of the Diablo Burger ketchup!!! When I picked up my Cheech, probably half of the guacamole fell down into my rosemary fries!!!!! A good sign as the more toppings there are, the better!!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! As I cuddled my burger and launched it towards my mouth to take my first bite, I noticed that this burger was fabulously juicy!!! The juice/grease from the burger began to fill and saturate the inside of my mouth!!! Burger juice again began falling all over my rosemary fries!!!! Oh, and their ketchup is very unique!!! It's like got this really spicy kick and tang to it! It compliments the beef nicely!!! With the combination of spicy ketchup, pepper jack, jalapenos, guacamole and high quality beef, there was a good kick to this burger!!!! Not sure how I felt about the English muffin as a bun as it seemed to stifle the flavor of the burger a bit, but overall, this burger was a superb one!!!!! It really eased the hunger that had been building up inside of me after about 7 hours of driving!!! Oh, and I have to say something about the rosemary fries!!! Usually I'm not a huge fan of rosemary, but there was something about being in the cool mountain air, combined with that spiciness and tang of the ketchup, that just caused the rosemary fries to work for me!!! Overall, Diablo Burger was a fantastic meal and experience!!!! When it comes to the greatest burger of all time, I'm not sure I can say it's at the top of my list, but certainly Diablo Burger is in the conversation!!! When in Flagstaff, hit this place and hit it hard!! The burgers are a little on the small side so you can probably do like 3-4 if you're really hungry!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Nice job Diablo Burger!! If I'm ever in Flagstaff, we'll meet again!!!!

Diablo Burger on Urbanspoon

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