Saturday, February 18, 2012

Homeslice Pizza: It's 4:20 Somewhere!!!!!

When I arrived in Durango, I was under the impression that it would be a town filled with hillbillies, cowboys, and those guys that wear plaid button down shirts tucked in to their dark blue Wranglers with bright orange trucker hats and those massive belt buckles with some ridiculous saying or tacky artistry!!!! Well, Durango does indeed have that particular element to it!!! However, one of the huge surprises I encountered upon spending a few days in this historic southwestern Colorado mountain town, is that Durango is no doubt one of the crunchiest cities I have ever been to!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Berkeley California, Eugene Oregon, Humboldt and now.... Durango Colorado!!!! Oh yes indeed, Durango, Colorado belongs in the conversation when talking about cities filled with the most Cruchy Groovers per capita!!!! I don't know if there's any sort of official demographic or statistic regarding cruchy groovers, but everywhere I looked in Durango there was some dude or chick with freshly burned dreads wearing a nose ring with glassy eyes glaring into nothingness due to the potent Moroccan hashish they likely blazed down just a few moments earlier!!!!! My guess is that Durango would be in a high percentile nationally in regards to crunchy groovers!!! Oh, and the crunchy groover women would wear these baggy jeans underneath retro sundresses made in the 70's that were probably bought at some run down thrift store while they would give off this God-awful earthy homeless scent likely due to not showering for an extended period of time!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love crunchy groovers with their earthiness and care-free attitude!!!!!! It was a welcome surprise for me as I arrived in Durango and thought I would be surrounded by nothing but red-necked mountain trash all week!!!!!!
Now, when I was walking down College Dr. one day, I noticed Homeslice Pizza!!! There were a couple of things that made Homeslice stand out to me!!!!! Number one was its appearence: given the building it was in (which looked like a house that somebody probably lived in at some point), the design of the patio with  branches wrapping around their wooden deck, and the crunchy groovers loitering out in front, it stuck out to me as a very intriguing and unique looking pizza place!!! The second thing I noticed was that it was directly next door to a neighborhood pot dispensary!!!!!!!!! Not even kidding!!!!! No wonder why there were some many crunchy groovers hanging around!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! After you get your bags of ganja from the dispensary next door and smoke a few bowls, you get the munchies, right?!?!?!?!?!?! And what better way to assuage your cannabis induced appetite than smashing down a large pizza from Homeslice?!?!?!?!?! What an absolutely brilliant marketing strategy by Homeslice Pizza!!!!! Absolutely and utterly genius!!!!!!!!
Look, I'm not a crunchy groover and I don't smoke weed, but after walking by Homeslice Pizza a couple of times, I just had to try it (the pizza that is)!!! When I walked through the doors the interior had a very artsy, progressive feel to it!!! And not surprisingly, there were some crunchy groovers gathered around a table in a corner downing multiple slices of pie as well as a crunchy groove girl working behind the counter taking orders!!!!
On the night I visited Homeslice I went for a 16" with half pepperoni, garlic, and jalepeno, and the other half with sausage, mushroom, and tomato!!!! When my pie came out of the oven, I took it back to where I was staying and proceeded to annihilate every last bite of my Homeslice pizza!!!!! This was a beautiful beautiful pizza!!!! The toppings were of a high quality and incredibly fresh, while the crust was absolutely perfect!!!! The crust had a nice crunch on the outside and was soft in the middle which made it easy to consume!!! Hey, something just occured to me, the pizza at Homeslice is a lot like a crunchy groover: crunchy on the outside, but when you talk with them and get to know them, they are kind hearted people!!!! Soft, if you will!!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Also, they used just the right amount of sauce!!! Not too much, but not too little!!!!! 
Homeslice Pizza puts out transcendent doughy pizza goodness that has the capability to send all those who eat it into another reality!!!! Oh wait, that might be the THC running through your system!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! But Homeslice is damn good food and perhaps can serve as an alternative to pot smokers who are looking for that powerful buzz in life!!!! .... Probably not though!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
It seems to me that there are some businesses in this country that are recession proof that there will always be a market for: the funeral business, the wedding business, the prom business, and....  pizza restaurants right next door to pot dispensaries!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Brilliant business savvy, Homeslice, brilliant I say!!!!!!
If you're ever in Durango be sure to make your way over to Homeslice Pizza!!!!! This is quality pizza made by crunchy groovers for crunchy groovers!!!! And who better knows what it takes to satisfy hunger than a crunchy groover?!?!?!?!?! .... Nobody!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I loved my visit to Homeslice!!!!!! When in Durango, do this place!!!!!!! And and and and... if you can get a prescription for, I don't know.... glaucoma or something, it might make your visit to Homeslice that much better!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I love you Homeslice!!! Do this place!!!!

Homeslice Pizza on Urbanspoon

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